Down Home Vegan

Quick and easy breakfast? Don't mind if I do!

2012-01-09T09:09:00.001-08:00

I made a huge crockpot of Hoppin' John for my ungrateful coworkers last week, and realized last night that I had a good amount of collards left over. I hate that I always buy more greens than I need and avoid using them due to the mistaken belief that it's too much work. In fact. washing, rolling, and shredding with a knife before quickly sautéing is a lot quicker than waiting for water to boil (and then waiting for said water to cook pasta).

That said, I made a very quick and easy plate of sausage (Gimme Lean; also leftovers) and sautéed greens with mushrooms and cayenne for breakfast. I ended up making a sandwich out of it with those Bagel Thins. Quick, packed with protein, iron, and calcium for a Monday, and delicious.

Easy as Hell Sausages and Greens
Serves 1 or 2

1 tsp olive oil
5 or 6 crimini mushrooms, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 package of Gimme Lean sausage
dash smoked salt
dash cayenne pepper or hot sauce (Frank's Red Hot; and I sure do put that shit on everything)
3 large collard leaves (cut away the tough stem), rolled and sliced into shreds
juice of 1/2 lemon

Cook the mushrooms, garlic, and sausage in oil. Stir and scrape often. When browned, add greens and a little water. Cook until wilted. Add lemon juice and stir around until evaporated. Serve with toast, rice, or quinoa.

Hey, I said I was going to post more. These aren't all going to be big productions.

2012 Resolutions, Updates, and Pictures

2012-01-06T08:20:00.000-08:00

Midnight came and went with hardly an acknowledgment from myself on Sunday. I think this is the first New Year in many, many years that I awakened without a hangover. I had a nasty cold, but that's never stopped me before; alcohol is the Great Alleviator.

One thing I will not forgo is making resolutions. I've made them before and had them stick (quitting smoking, losing weight), with or without stumbling and relapsing. This year, I resolve to blog more often. With that comes creating, experimenting, and experiencing. I also resolve to make more of an effort as an activist. Any lazy sonofabitch can share links on Facebook, but it takes some sacrifice and schedule shuffling to hand out leaflets and talk to people about what it means to be vegan, especially when people just want to fight with you. 2011 was very trying for me in the activist regard; I lost a friend over it, but it made me realize that this is not just something that will eventually pass with me. It's the barometer by which I make any decision. After six years, it's the one thing I've stuck to without a known slip-up; probably because sneaking a cigarette outside a bar or eating an entire pizza after losing 40 pounds only hurts me.

Anyway, here's some pictures I cleaned out of my camera today.

From the night of Paranormal Activity and chocolate-cherry-cheesecake, Aaron's Pumpkin-Pie-in-a-Pumpkin:

From Thanksgiving Day at Dallas & Brandon's:

Wild Mushroom & Walnut Paté (Dallas hates shiitake mushrooms with the fury of a thousand ninjas, but looooved this).

The Beast made another appearance.

Maple glazed carrots.

Creamed spinach and parsnips. This didn't turn out as good as I wanted (but it was much better as leftovers). I'll try it again next Thanksgiving, but now I know how to make it better.

Autumn Latkes from Veganomicon. Props to Brandon for doing all that peeling and shredding. My arthritic hands thank you!

I forgot to take pictures of dessert, which was eggnog pumpkin pie and apple-pear crumble. That just means I need to make them again!

Aaron and Kevin showed up for dessert that day, and showed us a piece from the news that night.

Rescued beagles get normal homes

Then they told us that they were adopting one of the beagles! Meet Kevin Junior:

Junior is still a little scared of stuff, especially doorways. I promised him that whenever I come through a door, I will always have hugs and treats.

That's it for now, but expect more soon. I hope I can keep my word on that.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2011-10-30T15:29:00.000-07:00

Today, my dad gets to do three things he loves: smoke a cigar, drink some Rémy Martin, and have lunch at the Indian restaurant he loves in Fargo. Since I can't be there, I'll celebrate my own way: by making a dish that my dad made for me a lot as a child.

Rich, cheesy, and comforting, Carbonara is perfect for a crisp autumn evening. I've never written down the recipe, because I've always just thrown it together. But I'll give it a try.

Pasta alla Carbonara
for one or two

cooked pasta of choice (spaghetti is most common)

1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 onion, sliced thin
4 strips of vegan bacon, chopped
1 clove minced garlic
1 tbsp margarine
3 tbsp vegan cream cheese or Daiya mozzarella
1/3 cup soy creamer or unsweetened almond milk
splash white wine
1/2 cup frozen peas
1 tbsp vegan parmesan cheese if desired
salt, pepper, fresh parsley

In oil, cook the onion, bacon, and garlic until bacon is browned and onion is translucent. Add margarine, cheese, and milk. Stir until cheese is melted. Add wine and peas. Heat through. Add vegan parmesan (I use a mixture of sea salt, walnuts, and nooch). Salt and pepper to taste. Toss with pasta. Garnish with chopped fresh parsley.

Chocolate & Cheese

2011-10-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

Sometime in September, after I found out that Mofo was October this year, I started to plan out my themes. I seriously considered a week of cheesecakes. I'll probably do it at a future date, but I think I scrapped it this year because I knew that I was going to have to buy new jeans after Chain Restaurant Week, and eating the equivalent of a truckload of Tofutti wasn't going to help matters. Next year, I'll do some healthier stuff and top it off with Cheesecake Week, 'kay?

I actually made this for a party tonight, but it was postponed. I'm sort of glad, because the huge party became a small dinner party, and I got to go home with leftovers. Yayah! I am very happy with how this turned out, and after watching Paranormal Activity tonight, I'm fairly sure the demon has moved from my kitchen to my camera. This was the best picture I took, and look how I cut it off on the top there. Fucking amateur.

Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake
6-8 servings

1 chocolate cookie crust (I used Keebler--it's vegan!)
1 8-oz pkg Tofutti cream cheese
1 asceptic box extra firm silken tofu
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 tsp almond extract
1 can cherry pie filling
Whipped topping, chocolate shavings if desired

Preheat oven to 350°. Place crust (keep in the tin) on a cookie sheet.

In a food processor, blend together the cheese, tofu, sugar, cocoa, cornstarch, lemon juice, and almond extract. Scrape the sides with a rubber spatula and blend again. Pour into crust. Bake at 350° for 45 minutes. You don't have to use a waterbath, since you'll be covering up any cracks with the cherries. Once baked, cool the cake to room temperature, and then chill, covered, for at least an hour. Spread cherry pie filling over the cake. Chill until time to serve. Excellent with whipped topping of choice (we used Soyatoo, but chilled whipped coconut cream would be good, too), and chocolate shavings if you wanna be fancy.

Back in the saddle

2011-10-28T21:05:00.001-07:00

Last Thanksgiving, I added vanilla and cardamom to the cranberry sauce, and made it AMAZING. I wanted to recreate that, but in a dessert. This is so, so delicious. It's also super quick, because I used canned whole cranberry sauce. I highly recommend pairing this with So Delicious Dulce de Leche ice cream.

Cranberry Crisp
9 servings

1 cup flour
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup chopped almonds
1 stick margarine (1/2 cup)
1 can whole berry cranberry sauce
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp cardamom

Preheat oven to 375°. Spray a 9"x9" baking pan with cooking spray. In a large bowl, combine flour, oats, sugar, almonds, and margarine. Work it with your hands until it's all crumby. Spread have the crumbs in your pan. In another bowl. combine the cranberries, vanilla, and cardamom. Spread over crumbs in the pan. Sprinkle remaining crumb mixture on top. Bake 40 minutes. Serve with ice cream.

When life gives you lemons, or in this case...

2011-10-27T14:05:00.001-07:00

exploded caramel apple cookies or melted turtle brownies, you do this.

This is of course after furiously slamming the brownie pan on the counter and yelling "FUCK" at the top of your lungs because you're convinced that your goddamn kitchen is cursed and/or you've completely lost all of your cooking skill somehow. This has been a weird week for me. I wonder if it's some strange hormonal thing because not only can I not cook, but I've gone back and read some things I posted on other sites and it's like a fucking illiterate teabagger transcribed for me. I was tempted to just throw in the towel, but instead, I took the day off from Mofo, made some spaghetti, and slept for about thirteen hours. This morning, I took a couple of my melted brownies, and made the above sundae. The rest are going in the freezer until I figure out what else to do with a baking fail other than toss it in the garbage with what Mischka left on the floor this morning.

God. Why didn't I do a garlic week or something?

Caramel Apple Cookies

2011-10-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

This was a whole lot of work for only one decent looking cookie.

So, I made these caramels (minus the cardamom), and I veganized this apple cider cookie recipe (I used Earth Balance and flax eggs), and my cookies exploded and there's caramel all over the cookie sheet and oh fuck THIS. That one is the only one worth taking a picture of. Since I have plenty more cider mix (I only made a half batch, THANK GOD), I might try this again, and instead of caramels inside the cookies, I'll just drizzle some caramel on top.

But I will tell you this: They are pretty damned yummy. I might just crumble them up and mix them into vanilla ice cream.

Can't gain weight? Read on:

2011-10-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

Is everyone aware that Megan Fox recently gave up veganism because she "couldn't gain weight?" Yeah. I had this reaction. Anyway, I have four words for Megan Fox: Mint Oreo Fudge Cremes. See, mint Oreos were already awesome, and vegan, and then they went and covered those fuckers in chocolate. Are you kidding me? These things are like Thin Mints, only BETTER. I always pick them up when I go to Target and feel like a pathetic junkie on the bus as I rip the package open.

Here's another nice surprise: Jell-O cook and serve pudding? Vegan. I shit you negative. It appears that the instant puddings are as well, but the cooking-required ones actually set using non-dairy milk. Now, I highly recommend using almond milk, because soy just doesn't set right, and it tastes funny. But the one thing about this find that's extra awesome? It makes bitchin' vegan ice cream.

So, I made up a batch of chocolate pudding this morning (using Silk Pure Almond vanilla-but the dark chocolate makes an even richer pudding), put plastic wrap over IT (to eliminate the skin on top) and refrigerated it. When I got home, I dumped it in the ice cream maker with 20 or so smashed up mint Oreo Fudge Cremes, and a teaspoon of peppermint extract to make it extra minty.

Flavor: check. Texture and mouthfeel (I hate that word): check. Weight gainable? Oh, check. Come to mama.

Here comes trouble.

2011-10-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

This week might do me in, weight-wise. I have a serious weakness for sugar, and in fact, it's the downfall for me whenever I try any kind of "diet" or weight loss regimen. As soon as I start to do great, look good, feel confident...I stifle it all with a half gallon of So Delicious Dulce de Leche. I'll admit again, that if good vegan ice cream didn't exist, I couldn't have kept this shit up for six years.

This week I was going to tackle candymaking. I went out and got a bunch of chocolate and corn syrup, and then don'tcha know, someone else did it last week. I learned that I have a massive ego and don't want anyone to think I'm copying, and (as you all know from my bleeding all over the blog yesterday) I learned that I should just focus on things this week that I can do somewhat blindfolded. Well, except for Saturday's recipe, which I'm very worried about.

This one I pulled out of my ass during the Vikings game, because, if you saw that piece of shit, you'd be distracted, too. The batter came out very mousse-y, and it leavened like a sumbitch. The frosting is cream cheese frosting, mixed with melted chocolate, and poured all over the cake. Sweet Lord. Serve this warm with (what else) your favorite ice cream.

My cream cheese frosting heart started to melt.

Pumpkin Sour Cream Chocolate Cake
Makes one 9" round cake

Wet Ingredients

1/4 cup chocolate chips, melted
2/3 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup vegan sour cream
1/4 cup almond milk (or other non-dairy milk)

Dry Ingredients

1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
pinch salt
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Preheat oven to 350°. Spray a 9" round cake pan (8x8 square) with baking spray.

Whisk together the wet ingredients. Work quickly, because the chocolate will start to harden when it hits the other liquids, so try to mix it up as best you can. In a separate bowl, blend the dry ingredients well with a whisk or spoon. Gradually add the dry to the wet, and mix. The batter will be fluffy and mousse-like. Spread in your pan with a rubber spatula. Bake for 30-35 minutes (do the toothpick test). Cool for 10 minutes, and make frosting.

Frosting:

1/2 can Duncan Hines Cream Cheese Frosting (it's vegan!)
1/2 cup chocolate chips

Microwave for one minute, then stir until blended. Pour over cake.

I'm glad that the only bad thing about this cake is that I took awful pictures of it. I was in too big a hurry to inhale it.

If any of you are poo-pooing the idea of store bought frosting or using cake mixes, then this week may not be for you. I haven't had many run-ins with the vegan police, but I do know that Lindsay over at Happy Herbivore recently renounced the "vegan" title because people were questioning where her sugar was sourced, etc. I do know that she also uses honey, which is a whole 'nother can o' pectin gummy worms, but as for the sugar thing and the questionable ingredients on cake mix labels, I have this to say: If I make something from scratch that I serve to other vegans, I use organic sugar. I don't make shortcuts. When I'm making something for me and the thankless bastards I work with, or my vegan friends who feel similarly, I'll cut corners and use "accidentally vegan" store items. So far, the only people who have nitpicked me about such things have been non-vegans, who seem to think there is a purity rule. The way I see it is, when it comes to things like sugar that may or may not have been processed in bone char, when the day comes that there are no animals being used, then there won't be by-products. There is no purity test. But if you really do stress out about these things, I will post ingredients lists for you.

Coup de grâce

2011-10-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

This MoFo has been...a learning experience. I refuse to say "failure," although a lot of the things I have made have not come out tasting as I'd hoped, or outright disappointed me. I guess I should be relieved that the plan I had for next week (candy) is being done this week by someone else (right down to the exact items I wanted to veganize). Part of me feels frustrated that now I have to come up with other ideas, but I'm also somewhat glad because this month seems to be jinxed. I've forgotten things in pictures, I've forgotten ingredients when blogging recipes (only to go back and edit after posting that shit all over the place), and I haven't taken any time off work, thus making grocery shopping, cooking, and blogging something that is just more shit I gotta do instead of something I normally look forward to. I'm also feeling incredibly anxious about tackling things, when I used to feel challenged and excited. Sucks, huh? I guess the only thing I can do is soldier on, finish the month, and resolve to experiment more with things. Starting with this Tarte Tatin.

It started off so well. The caramel was perfectly amber, and then at some point, it burned. If I have anything to teach anyone about veganizing, it's that vegan versions don't take long to get to where they need to be. Case in point: caramel. I put the apples in long after I should have, and cooked it longer on the stove than I should have.

The inside, which was perfect.

I ended up scraping off the burnt sugar on top, and served this with vanilla ice cream, and it was good (not awesome).

What I learned about this dessert is that I can skip the long caramelization process called for in the original recipe. Simply melt, stir, bake. Since everything happened so fast, it can happen in the oven. I'll be tackling this again. Trust me.

Happy Belated Oktoberfest

2011-10-21T20:48:00.000-07:00

My parents were very close friends with a lovely German man named Wolfgang, who made this dish every time we visited, for he knew it was my father's favorite. His secret ingredient was vodka, but I think I've made do with a splash of white wine and a tablespoon of brown rice miso for that "boozy" flavor. I'll admit, I sure did love these when I had them the first time. I think I came up with a pretty damn good homage. Here's to you, Wolf.

Vegan Königsberger Klopse (German meatballs)
Serves 4 healthy appetites.

For the Klopse:
1/2 package Gimme Lean hamburger
1/2 package Gimme Lean sausage
1 tbsp brown rice miso
2 pieces of bread (I used Rudi's multigrain oat), or a large kaiser roll
1/4 cup dry bread crumbs
1 tbsp all purpose flour
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried parsley
1/2 tsp white pepper
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, minced

Tear up the bread, and douse in hot water. Strain and squeeze out excess. Mix well with other ingredients. Form into 8 meatballs with wet hands. If the mixture is too sticky, add a little flour.

Preheat oven to 350°

In a hot, oiled cast iron skillet, brown the klopse on all sides. Remove klopse and set aside.

For the gravy:

2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp margarine
2 tbsp cornstarch
2 cups hot not-beef broth
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp vegan Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp brown German mustard
splash of vodka or white wine (maybe 1/4 cup)
1 tbsp drained capers
1/2 cup vegan sour cream

In the same pan, heat the oil and margarine. Whisk in the cornstarch. Add the broth, soy sauce, Worcestershire, mustard, capers, and wine and whisk well. Bring to a boil. Add klopse. Remove from heat and put pan in the oven for 20 minutes. Take out of the oven. Stir in sour cream. Cool, then serve over mashed potatoes, or with warm potato salad with vinaigrette.

I think this is one of my best. It was EVEN MORE DELICIOUS after being in the fridge all day. But that could be the Oktoberfest beer talking.

Greece is the word.

2011-10-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to do the thing that EVERYONE mentioned. Spanakopita. I wanted to try something different; something I've never had. I think I found it in these cookies.

They go perfectly with a glass of sweet white wine, or a cup of citrusy tea. They're a bit dry, so a beverage is a must. This would be perfect to serve at a shower or other hen party, where dainty cookies are usually called for.

Vegan Finikia
Makes about 2 dozen cookies*

1 stick Earth Balance, softened (1/2 cup)
1/2 cup superfine sugar (I just put regular crystal sugar in the Vitamix for a few seconds)
grated zest of one organic orange
1/2 cup corn oil
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups semolina
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 cup orange juice

1 cup water
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup Just Like Honey or other honey alternative
1 cinnamon stick
2 teaspoons lemon juice

1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts, sesame seeds, or caster sugar

Preheat oven to 350°. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, cream together the margarine, superfine sugar and orange zest. Gradually mix in the oil and beat until light and fluffy. Combine the flour, semolina, baking powder, cinnamon and cloves; beat into the fluffy mixture alternately with the orange juice. As the mixture thickens, turn out onto a floured board and knead into a firm dough. Pinch off tablespoonfuls of dough and form them into balls or ovals. Place cookies 2 inches apart onto the prepared cookie sheets.
Bake for 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden. Cool on baking sheets until room temperature.

To make the syrup: In a medium saucepan, over medium heat, combine the water, white sugar, honey alternative, cinnamon stick and lemon juice. Bring to a boil and boil for 10 minutes. Remove the cinnamon stick. While the mixture is boiling hot, dip the cookies in one at a time, making sure to cover them completely. Place them on a wire rack to dry and sprinkle with walnuts, sesame seeds, or sugar. Place paper under the rack to catch the drips. Keep finished cookies in a sealed container at room temperature.

*The recipe I veganized says 5 dozen, but I made mine a little bigger.

Point taken.

2011-10-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

The only smart thing I did today was prepare the filling for these empanadas before leaving for work. Otherwise, I'd still be in the kitchen, and this blog entry would be late. I'd also be STARVING, because I spent my entire lunch break on the phone with T-Mobile, crying over the latest piece of shit phone they've sent me. This time, the phone won't charge. I was lucky enough to find my old flip phone and charger so I can at least talk and text until my new piece of shit arrives tomorrow. I think the woman I spoke with at tech support told me three times that I'll have to cough up $55 if the phone is actually damaged; as in, I broke it. I know, I know. I hate this shit. I want Credo to get some decent droids (or iPhones), and then I'm dropping this Motorola Charm piece of junk off the Hennepin Avenue Bridge.

Anyway, the empanadas turned out great. Thanks in part to this handy little gadget that I got for $1 about ten years ago, but finally used today:

As for the filling, I think the traditional Spanish recipe calls for beef, hard boiled eggs, and raisins. Oh, and sofrito, of course. I used Trader Joe's soy chorizo, potatoes, and dried cherries. I made a simple tomato sauce with minced onion, garlic, green pepper, white wine, and paprika. Instead of making dough, I used puff pastry. Baked at 400° until golden brown (about 15 minutes), and I had time to blog!

Zupa Grochowka

2011-10-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

Who knew that my favorite soup as a child, fresh out of the Chunky can, had a Polish history? I knew they were into their pork over there, but I guess I never associated anything edible with Poland other than kielbasa.

I think all of us have made this before. Split pea soup with onion, celery, potatoes, and carrots. Maybe some vegan ham, if you have some around. Maybe cook it with a little beer or sherry, to bring out the heart of the soup.

I woke up feeling like shit, and all I wanted today was soup. I wondered if this would be too heavy, and maybe it was, but it's the perfect dinner to curl up with when it's 40° outside.

Velkommen!

2011-10-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

Photo credit: Star Tribune

King Harald and Queen Sonja of Norway are in town this week. I had planned to make something different this morning, but when I heard this was their last day in town, I figured I should give the Motherland some props and do up some lefse.

Of course, "motherland" would be a misnomer for me, since my mother is English and Irish, and my grandpa was the Norwegian ingredient, but my Grandma Ruth was one hell of a lefse factory, despite being German.

Here she is with my dad. AWWW!

I wish I'd spent more of my childhood learning kitchen tricks from my grandma. By the time I'd wrestled much alone time with her, she'd already gone through my numerous cousins and was becoming a "back of the box" chef. I remember telling her how much I looooved her pineapple upside-down cake, only to have her tell me that it was actually Barbara Mandrell's recipe, and she got it off the back of a box of cake mix.

But there was one thing she did from scratch that I looked forward to every year. Lefse. Perfectly thin, perfectly cooked, and delicious with butter and sugar. I knew there was no way I could make my lefse as perfect without years of experience, but I will tell you, it tastes even better with Earth Balance and organic raw sugar sprinkled on it.

This recipe makes a pretty good pile of lefse, but if you want to bring a ton to a family party, I'd double or triple it.

Vegan Norwegian Lefse
Makes about a dozen pancake-sized lefse

4 lbs potatoes, peeled and quartered
4 Tbsp margarine
2 1/2 Tbsp soy creamer or plain soymilk
1 1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 tsp sugar
1 cup all purpose flour, plus more for sprinkling

Cover potatoes in cold water and cook until fork-tender. Push through a ricer, or mash gently with one of these. A regular masher can make the potatoes too gummy. Mix in the margarine, creamer, salt, and sugar. Refrigerate until room temperature. Once cooled, add flour and mix in with your hands (wash them, you dirty punk!). Tear off a golf ball-sized chunk, and roll it into a soft ball in floured hands. On a floured surface, with a floured rolling pin, roll that sucker out as flat as you can (feel free to take bits out of the dough bowl for spackling any tears). Cook lefse on a HOT cast iron griddle or crepe pan for like, 15-25 seconds or until it's lightly browned. You'll get the hang of it. Turn, cook an additional 10 seconds (really), and move to a plate. Keep the stack warm with a towel until you're finished.

Lefse can be served rolled up with vegetables, Tofutti cream cheese, or whatever you like. I still prefer them the traditional way: buttery and sweet.

Sausage Party

2011-10-16T13:35:00.000-07:00

I love lasagna. I think I've made that pretty apparent in past postings (click "lasagna" on the tag cloud). But this one...oh boy. This one is a monster. I used 'Furky Italian Sausage, burger crumbles, pistachio pesto, a rich, white wine bechamel, and a hearty marinara. I highly recommend using boiled noodles for a lasagna this rich, because oven-ready ones don't soften up quite enough in a fat-heavy dish. I had one piece, and I don't think I can move much for the rest of the day. I did think ahead and placed a cookie sheet under the pan in the oven, because it did, in fact, erupt a little.

I don't know why I do this to myself every MoFo. My best friend even said, "Why don't you do a week of healthy recipes?" BORING. Would you rather look at a plate of brown rice and steamed vegetables, or a tower of Daiya, pasta, and processed faux meats? Would you rather hear me talk (rather self righteously) about how healthy vegan diets are and how I am such a perfect person? Hell no. You want to show a picture of a giant slab of Monster Lasagna to your "tasty tasty murder"-joke making coworker douchebag and have him say, "Whoa. I'd eat the hell out of that."

BAM.

Naughty and nice.

2011-10-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

You know who's naughty? This guy.

Bowie, doing yoga.

I have never yelled, "Get offa there!" so many times in a week. I've had to close off the bathroom for the first time since he was a kitty for a) stuffing the bathmat under the tub, b) unraveling a whole roll of toilet paper, and c) knocking a teacup off the counter and breaking it. He has taken to chasing invisible prey across my bed in the middle of the night when I have to work at 6:45am the next day, he's scratched up the inside of the doorway from the hallway to the living room, he's knocked over every trashcan in the house looking for God knows what...I'm just about at the end of my rope. Anyone want a slightly used, slightly feral, adorable tabby? Your only requirement is returning to your bed after your shower for belly-rubbing time. His belly. But he gives a good backrub if you let him sit on the back of your office chair. Ahhh...sigh.

BUT, you know what's nice? These:

Gingerbread donuts with candy cane sprinkles

I need to work on these. I was not perfectly satisfied with how these turned out, and wonder if a gluten-free dough would work better (the dough for these was very elastic and hard to shape). I'm going to try another batch sometime after MoFo and edit this entry to include a recipe. People I shared them with liked them, but I wanted a nice cakey donut, and these came out sort of quick-bread-y. Too moist, or something. I think it's the pumpkin. I veganized this recipe, and need to figure out how to make them more gingerbread-y. It didn't seem like enough molasses. I will say they were damn tasty with coffee.

Thankful for carbs

2011-10-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

This would be a fun thing to do with your Thanksgiving leftovers, or you could make it for the big meal itself, if you'd like. Even better, you could just make this for dinner anytime, because if we all love Thanksgiving food so much, why do we have to wait until November?

Stuffing, that's why. I went to Whole Foods and Target today, trying to find bags of bread cubes to make stuffing. No one had any (well, Target had Stove Top, but we all know what's wrong with that), so I knew that I would have to make do with bread, a low oven, and lots of herbs. It ended up working out quite well (dry herbed up bread slices in the oven, chop them up, add to cooked celery and onion and douse in broth). I used a Pillsbury seamless Crescent dough tube. Yes, vegan! No, not healthy! But what exactly about Thanksgiving is healthy? That's right. As for the bread I used to make stuffing? Who else but Rudi's. There's a contest below, so pay attention!

Thanksgiving Pinwheels, naked.

And gravied up!

Thanksgiving Pinwheels
Makes 6 small servings

1 tube Pillsbury Seamless Crescent Dough, rolled out
1 cup mashed potatoes
1 1/2 cups stuffing (make it extra moist)
6-8 slices Oven Roasted Tofurky slices
3/4 cup whole berry cranberry sauce (mix it up in a bowl to make it spreadable)

1 batch pumpkin gravy

Heat oven to 375° Spread potatoes over the rolled out dough, leaving a two inch space at one end (you'll need to seal it). Place Tofurky slices on top of the potatoes. Spread stuffing over that. Spoon cranberry sauce over it all. Roll up into a giant burrito and seal with wet fingers (do not pinch the ends). With a sharp knife, cut the burrito into twelve pinwheels. Place pinwheel disks on a cookie sheet, and bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. Serve with pumpkin gravy.

Now, since Rudi's AGAIN saved my ass, I'm giving away another prize pack! You'll get a coupon and a nifty sandwich box, yo. For your grilled Daiyas and PB & J's, son.

Just go like Rudi's on Facebook and in the comments here on this post, tell me what your favorite part about Thanksgiving is now that you're veg/vegan (assuming you weren't born that way!). I'll announce the winnah (US only, sorry!) on Tuesday, so you have ALL WEEKEND plus Monday to enter. Okay? Okay.

Boo!

2011-10-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah, not much scary about these cookies. However; I do think it was cute that while I was mixing in the chips and nuts, this song came on the radio: I used this recipe, but added chocolate chips and chopped pecans to it. They didn't spread very well, and kind of came out the same shape as when I dropped them. Lesson learned for subsequent batches. I wonder if oil would work better than margarine? If I can improve on these (I'm already thinking that oats are needed), I'll bring them to all the parties I'm invited to this year. :>/ Upon cooling, these are delightfully chewy and go GREAT with coffee.

America, America

2011-10-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

I was unsure what to make today. I almost did picnic food: hotdogs, burgers, potato salad, etc. Then I thought about a flag cake. Then I thought, let's make a mess! You know, because nothing says "God Bless the USA" quite like hot pink and turquoise cupcakes. Oh well, they taste delicious, at least. I used Jennifer's recipe for fluffy white cupcakes over at Schmooed Food, split the batter into thirds, and used food coloring. Apparently not enough of it. It doesn't mean I think any less of this country. However; if things keep getting worse around here, I may just be snowshoeing my way over the Canadian border by the end of 2012. Just sayin.

Zombie Jesus Brunch

2011-10-11T17:32:00.000-07:00

My favorite part about Easter every year as a child (aside from the new stuffed bunny and basket of candy) was the brunch buffet we hit every year. Fruit, pancakes, waffles, and all the various animal parts and secretions. I still love brunch, and often make a big production when I get a weekend day off. Since I had to work today, I made brunch for dinner. That's right! Brinner, y'all.

Tofu omelet (I used chickpeas instead of chickpea flour because I hate the way that shit tastes) with asparagus, Daiya, and ham, multigrain waffles with berries, bagels with Tofutti cream cheese, and a mimosa (which I drank while trying to take pictures).

And much like when I was a kid, going up for foursies at the buffet, I'm totally stuffed. I wish there were fancy vegan brunch buffets in every fancy hotel.

Tonight makes love to all your kind...

2011-10-10T20:37:00.000-07:00

tomorrow's making...valentines.

I have a hard time with Valentine's Day. On one hand, I love all things romantical and gooshy and sappy. Chick flicks make me cry. On the other hand...I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing a sweet, romantic V-Day. Well, other than the ones I throw for myself. The closest I came to one was being told (while being dumped for someone else), "If this had lasted, I would have given you the Valentine's Day you deserve." Gee, thanks. *slams head on the desk*

This is something that failed, but I managed to cover it with enough frosting to disguise the fail. Apparently, veganizing cake mix isn't a snap like I thought it would be, at least not nearly as easy as brownie mix is. After 45 minutes in the oven, this red velvet cake had become an erupting volcano. I took it out, scooped out the unbaked part, sculpted it, and threw it back in for about ten minutes. The white top layer is cheesecake, which came out kind of thin. I put the two together, spackled it all together with cream cheese frosting, threw some berries on top to hide the cracks, and voila! Perfect for a romantic weekend with your lover, or one night with your bad self and How I Met Your Mother reruns.

Hoppin' New Year!

2011-10-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

This week's theme is holidays. I'm glad I came up with seven holidays that are easy to find traditional and/or original ideas for, and still leave some holidays to fend for themselves (wtf do people eat on Labor Day?).

New Year's Day is all about good luck. Hoppin' John is a traditional southern meal eaten in the south on New Year's Day. The peas symbolize coins, and the greens (collards, etc) served with the meal are the color of money.

This is also another dish I can use that giant vegan ham to season!

You guys, this turned out so yummy! I was pretty scared to improvise with a dish I've never had before, but from reading the various recipes I found online, it stays pretty true to tradition (except for the veganness and the sherry). The sherry added a snap that was needed. Some HJ recipes call for vinegar, but I thought this would give it the right kick. Like my totally 80's champagne flute?

Vegan Hoppin' John
Makes 4-6 servings

1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup diced onion
1/4 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup chopped green pepper
1 tbsp chopped garlic
1/2 cup diced vegan ham, diced or vegan sausage, cut up
1/2 lb dried black eyed peas, soaked overnight and rinsed
2 cups veggie broth
1 tsp dried thyme
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp cayenne
pinch salt
few twists fresh pepper
1 tsp liquid smoke
couple handfuls collard, mustard, or turnip greens or chard or kale, shredded
splash of sherry
steamed rice for serving

Heat oil in a largish pot. Cook the veggies for about five minutes, then add ham. Cook until veggies are tender and the ham is browned. Add broth, peas, and spices. Bring to a boil, then let simmer for about 40 minutes or until peas are creamy and tender (you may have to add liquid periodically; stir often!). Stir in greens and heat through. Add a splash of sherry and stir. Serve over rice.

Zzzzzzuppa!

2011-10-08T14:35:00.000-07:00

One last chain restaurant to go, and who could forget Olive Garden? There are a million things on the menu that could be easily veganized with cashew ricotta and Daiya, but I saw this soup that already had kale in it, and knew that it would be delicious no matter what.

Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana is mostly sausage and potatoes, so I knew I'd have to buy some faux meat. I had no idea I'd be using the WHOLE tube of Gimme Lean. I'd say save this for a somewhat special occasion.

Vegan Zuppa Toscana
8-10 servings

1 lb vegan Italian sausage
1 1/2 tsp crushed red pepper
2 tbsp olive oil, divided
1 lg onion, diced
2 tsp crushed garlic
4 strips vegan bacon, diced (optional; I used Smart Bacon and it didn't hold up well. Tempeh maybe)
5 Not-Chicken broth cubes
10 cups water
1 lb peeled, sliced potatoes (about 3 large russets)
1 cup cashew cream (I used Mimicreme but soy creamer would work)
1/2 bunch kale, washed and cut into thin strips

Heat one tablespoon of the olive oil over medium heat. Add sausage and crushed red pepper. Break the sausage apart into bits while it's cooking. When done, dump inot a bowl and set aside.

In the same pot, heat 1 tbsp oil and add onion, bacon, and garlic. Cook on low for about 10-15 minutes until onion is soft. Dissolve the broth cubes in 2 cups hot water, and add to the pot with remaining 8 cups water. Bring to a boil, then add potatoes. Cook for 15 or so minutes or until potatoes are cooked. Remove from heat. Stir in cashew cream, sausage, and kale. Heat through. Serve.

Eatin' Good in the Vegan Hood

2011-10-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

The first time I saw the commercial for Applebee's "Stacked, Stuffed, and Topped" menu, I thought the people in it were saying, "I liked being stuffed," "I like being topped," etc. Of course I laughed a lot because I'm 12.

Just watch the first five seconds, because then it gets gross.

One of the items on this menu was the Chicken Parmesan Stack. I decided to make it because I had all the stuff in the house. My apologies to my friend Melissa, for whom I promise to make a Maple Butter Blondie in the near future for letting me use her deep fryer. I was going to make the blondie for MoFo, but I am too many bus rides away from vanilla soy ice cream, and I already had to leave OccupyMN due to a stiff neck and back.

Fairly easy. Make some fettucine alfredo (sauce is easy with some Tofutti cream cheese, roasted garlic, a little salt, basil, pepper, unsweetened soy milk). Deep fry some Gardein chicken scallopine (I made a seasoned batter with flour, soy milk, sage, parsley, thyme, salt, and pepper). Melt some Daiya mozzarella on the fried chick'n. Spoon marinara over it. Top (heh) with some more Daiya or parmesan alternative and fresh parsley. Voila. This took me all of 20 minutes. Of course, it'll take me a week to burn it off. Good thing I didn't make a pan of blondies.

The opposite of a heart attack.

2011-10-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

Everybody on the intertubes goes on about how delicious the artichoke dip at TGI Friday's is, so I remade that shit long ago (in my pre-vegan years), and called it Heart Attack Dip. It was pretty loaded from what I can recall. I think the whole point was to not be able to stir it once it went in the oven because it was so packed with cheese. I think I heard a lot of hearts breaking when I went vegan, and some of my closer friends realized that I would no longer be making this dip. Well, I do still make this dip, thanks to Daiya and Tofutti!

Not-Heart Attack Dip, and some zebra butts.

Today was a hard day. This comforting dip, some French bread, and the company of a good friend who can share the struggles and joys of being an AR activist were just what I needed. Well, that and smoking a big fat bowl and watching some Arrested Development. You know, if I were into that kind of thing. *whistling*

So, if it's not Heart Attack Dip anymore, what do I call it?

Exhausted.

2011-10-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

No, not exhausted from MoFo. Exhausted from working what seemed like a thousand days in a row, with today being the last night, as well as the busiest. I plan to sleep like the dead tonight. I am so grateful to Morning Megan for making this before work today, because there is no way I can face the kitchen right now. I need sleep. But first...

I remember going to Bennigan's twice in my life. Both times, I got the Monte Cristo. I'm a big fan of savory + sweet, so a French toast sandwich with all kinds of salty, meaty, cheesy insides that could be dipped in raspberry jam was just what the doctor ordered. I was nervous to make this, but it turned out better than I'd expected. I was out of Daiya cheddar, so I used Vegan Gourmet jack cheese and Daiya mozz. I also added Vegenaise (of COURSE), smoked Tofurky slices, and some fried up slices from this:

I know. Laugh it up. But this shit is amazing. I was never a big fan of ham when I was a meat eater, but I sure do like this all sliced up and fried with a little smoked paprika. It'll be making an appearance in another theme week; don't you worry. If you live near an Asian market, I recommend picking one up.

The bread I used is from Rudi's, of course. One thing about Rudi's bread is that it never lets me down. It's so hard to find whole wheat bread and buns that are vegan (a lot of them have honey), but almost every kind of bread of Rudi's that I pick out is vegan and delicious. I find them to be a brand I've come to rely on pretty heavily, so I was even more impressed when I asked if I could do a giveaway with some of their products on my blog during MoFo. Using the poker vernacular, they were all in!

So, if you'd like to win a Rudi's prize pack (coupon for a free Rudi's Organic loaf and a super cool sandwich container), go "like" Rudi's on Facebook, and then come back and leave a comment! Also, anonymous comments and guest comments with no contact info won't be in the running. Sorry, but I am way too busy to go tracking people down. I'll be announcing winners for this as well as the Wayfare winner next week. Since I get so few comments, I want to make it more interesting by dragging it out. *wink*

Check out these puppies.

2011-10-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

So, the Tour of America menu at Denny's is the whole reason behind wanting to do a chain restaurant week for MoFo this year. But then, Denny's rolled out the "Let's Get Cheesy" menu, and I was sure I'd be rolling up my sleeves for a Daiya-stravaganza. Instead, I thought it would be fun to get a bag of Oppenheimer's white chocolate chips and make the Strawberry White Chocolate Pancake Puppies. Except of course, my local purveyor of vegan white chocolate chips was sold out, and it would cost a me an extra $7 to get them shipped. The day I spend $12 on a bag of fucking white chocolate chips is the day I win the friggin' lottery, and in that case, I would order a TON of shit online, and wouldn't care that I'd normally have to grab my ankles for shipping costs.

So, I made do with dark chocolate chips, and a swirl of raspberry preserves.

Here they are, nestled in my ugly cupcake carrier.

I drizzled (okay, doused) these guys in cream cheese icing after cooling off from being deep fried. I had two. My coworkers ate the rest. I am way too hard on myself, and apologized for how "brown" they turned out, but they got awesome reviews. They're very easily made using pancake batter thickened with some cornstarch, and dropped into a deep fryer, which I don't have. My stove is kind of a mess.

Yesterday, Wayfare Foods caught wind of my post about the Chicken Enchilada Soup. The marketing director made it, and they are sending me a coupon to give away to one of my readers! Yeah! If you live in the US, and have a place where you can pick up "We Can't Say It's Cheese" or any other Wayfare product, please leave a comment below. I'll choose one at random, and it's all yours! Just tell me in your comment what you're going to make with it. Thanks!

Not-Chicken Enchilada Soup

2011-10-03T15:29:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've ever set foot in a Chili's. I certainly won't now, since Bob Torres wrote about them in Vegan Freak and said that there is absolutely NOTHING on the menu that even comes close to vegan. I haven't spent any time looking at their menu for any signs of a salad, so I cannot confirm nor deny that assertion.

When I searched, "favorite dish at Chili's," this came up a number of times on copycat recipe sites. I figured out the gist of what I needed to do to make it work, and it was very easy: no precise measurements needed. It's all about taste.

Here's a picture of the original soup here (it's the one on the right).

See those tortilla strips on top? Yeah. I couldn't find those fuckers anywhere. I was going to order them online, but the smallest amount I could order was a case of nine bags. I wasn't planning to open a vegan Chili's anytime soon, so I enlisted the help of anyone who'd listen that if they saw these things somewhere, just get them. Don't call me and say, "Hey, I'm in a corner store in Maple Grove, they got 'em!" Just get them. I'll make you soup. No one did. Then, I had Shannon stop at Cub for me to pick up Pillsbury crescent dough, and what did they have in the produce section?

After doing a quick label check, I did a little dance in the natural food aisle.

Not-Chicken Enchilada Soup
Makes 6-8 servings

1/2 diced onion
2 tbsp olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
16 oz not-chicken broth
2 cups water (divided)
1/2 cup masa harina
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt
fresh ground pepper to taste
few shots of Frank's Red Hot
1 container Wayfare's "We Can't Say It's Cheese" cheddar spread
1/2 cup shredded vegan cheddar (I used Daiya)
1 cup crushed tomatoes
1 cup chopped chick'n (Trader Joe's has a good one called "Chickenless Chicken strips," but you can also use the Morningstar or chop up the Gardein scallopine chick'n)
Vegan sour cream
Pico de gallo
tortilla strips

Cook the onion and garlic in the olive oil until soft. Stir in the broth, and turn up the heat. As you wait for it to boil, whisk the masa harina into one cup of water. Add that to the pot with the other cup of water. Add salt and spices. Stir in the cheeze. Reduce heat to simmer and cook, stirring until the cheeze is melted and blended in and the masa is cooked (about 10 minutes). Stir in the tomatoes and chick'n. Taste for salt/spice. Serve garnished with pico, vegan sour cream, and tortilla strips.

Happy MoFo! Week One: Chain Restaurants

2011-10-02T16:09:00.000-07:00

I don't think a lot of vegans go to chain restaurants, other than maybe PF Chang's. Not so much because they have nothing to offer vegans (and special orders are usually out of the question, as food usually comes in bags so each and every restaurant in the chain tastes the same), but because most of us can whip something up that's pretty amazing for half the cost. However; some of us have things we miss, or things we'd like to try "if only it were vegan." Well, this week, I'm going to try to alleviate a few pangs.

First up, the Crab Stuffed Mushrooms from Red Lobster. I went there a lot as a kid, but when I was around 22, I dated a guy who worked there. The stories he told me pretty much sealed the deal on never eating there again (and quite possibly planted a seed for veganism). But as I looked over the menu, I figured that I could make a reasonable imitation of the mushrooms without too much work, and I wouldn't have to ask what was in them, and I wouldn't have to worry that some sweaty line cook dropped them on the floor. I picked up a bag of "vegetarian codfish balls" at a local Chinese restaurant, and got to work.

I wound up making way too much stuffing. I put it in the freezer so I can make these again for a Halloween party or something. So, if you make these, you're going to need to get a lot of mushrooms. I got some good sized ones.

Vegan Crab Stuffed Mushrooms
Makes 25-30 appetizers

30 oz large mushrooms (3 10-oz pkgs), washed and de-stemmed. Chop up half the stems.
1/2 stick margarine
2 tbsp finely chopped onion
2 tbsp finely chopped celery
2 tbsp finely chopped red pepper
1 1/2 cups oyster crackers, crushed
7 oz package vegan codfish balls, or other vegan seafood item
Ener-G egg replacer and water to equal one egg
1/2 cup or more water
pinch salt
1/2 tsp Old Bay seasoning (I used the Chesapeake seasoning from Penzey's)
few twists fresh black pepper
1/2 tsp granulated garlic
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheeze (I used Daiya)
3/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheeze (Daiya again)

Preheat oven to 400°

Cook the veggies and chopped up stems in the margarine over medium-low heat until tender. Set aside to cool. Chop up codfish balls in a food processor. Mix codfish, crushed crackers, cooled veggies, "egg," salt, pepper, spices, and cheddar cheeze. Add water to make for stuffable. Stuff the mushroom caps. You can pile it up on top, too. Place stuffed mushrooms in a baking dish, and sprinkle mozz cheeze all over. Bake for 15 minutes.

Grocery day!

2011-10-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

My super awesome friend Shannon was nice enough to chauffeur my ass around to various stores today to pick up what I needed for, um, about a week and a half of MoFo. I have been to about seven stores in the past week, gathering up what I need (still not shopping at the Wedge, though), and I'm still trying to find white chocolate chips (I may have to just give up on that) and vegan shrimp. Vegetarian Plus makes vegan shrimp, but they no longer carry them at my Whole Foods. I may have to make a run to the Seward. Cross your fingers for me!

Most fabulous find are multi-colored tortilla strips. When I post the recipe I need them for, you'll find out why. Most bizarre find: a two pound vegan ham I pulled out of the freezer at Evergreen Chinese restaurant.

Here's a fraction of my haul:

Now, those of you who know where I work know that the first of the month is the most exhausting day of the month, and to do all of this after eight hours of dealing with people willing to blow their state benefits on overpriced soda and cigarettes, you can understand why my dinner tonight isn't anything mind blowingly MoFo-tastic, but possibly a bowl of cereal or pita and hummus. But let's look at the calendar, shall we?

I have themes planned for the four complete Sunday-through-Saturday weeks in October. That leaves today (the first) and the last two days to play around with. Don't worry. Tomorrow, things get serious.

'Twas the night before MoFo...

2011-09-30T15:35:00.000-07:00

My kitchen is in no shape for what I'm about to put it through, so before I dive into some rubber gloves, I wanted to just touch base and make sure y'all know that I am alive, and this shit is ON like Donkey Kong, yo. I have themes picked for all four weeks, I have a grocery shopping appointment for tomorrow (which shall be photo-documented), a big bag of goodies from Penzey's, a giant tube of vegan ham from the Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood, and clearly a death wish. Everything I need as I head into my fourth Vegan Month of Food.

Some updates.

2011-08-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

Sooo...I opened a new Twitter account. I can be tweeted/twat at @downhomevegan. So far, I haven't said much. I'm kind of bewildered when it comes to Twitter. All the posts look like hieroglyphics, what with the hashmarks and such. But, I figured I'd better get on it (that, and I snapped up @downhomevegan before someone else did), since the Oxford Concise has now added "retweet" to the dictionary. It has also decided that "cassette" no longer deserves an entry, which leaves me feeling OLD AS FUCK. Speaking of which, can anyone recommend a good vegan wrinkle cream?

This Saturday, Animal Rights Coalition will be holding the event "Cupcakes for Their Sake" at noon at Ethique Nouveau. Make sure you get down there early, because every CFTS event has seen all the goodies get swooped up pretty quick. I hear there are peanut butter cup cuppers this time. I am so there!

I haven't been doing a lot of cooking lately, but I'm planning to get back on that so I'm not burned out the first week of Vegan MoFo. I've already got ideas for a theme week. I'll bet you can't take the suspense!

The Minnesota State Fair starts tomorrow. Besides the Giant Naked Pickle on a stick, and the new category in the cooking competition, what the hell can a vegan eat there? I want to see some carnies and maybe ride the rapids, and barf after a trip down the giant slide. If there's something I'm missing, let me know. Otherwise, I think I'll stay home. I saw this billboard on the side of a bus and it bummed me the hell out:

There is so much I could say...that I'm speechless.

Midwest Vegan Radio

2011-06-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I'd posted this, but I guess I didn't. Duh.

I'm on a podcast! If you're just DYING to listen to my nasally Midwestern voice drone on about gravy and hotdish (broken up by occasional throat clearing), and learn what Ryan has decided is the past tense of "tweet."

Here it is.

Oh, and here's the recipe for Pumpkin Gravy:

2 tbsp grapeseed oil
2 tbsp cornstarch

Make a roux, and add to it:

2 cups vegetable broth
1 tsp rubbed sage
1 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp salt
few grinds of fresh black pepper
1 14-oz can pumpkin pureé (NOT pumpkin pie filling)

Whisk until smooth, and stir over medium-low heat until thick and delicious. Taste for salt. Add more herbs and pepper if desired. Great with Thanksgiving Calzones, or seitan cutlets and stuffing. Or just on mashed potatoes, which as an entreé? Fantastic.

Iron Chef Wayfare!

2011-06-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

The awesome folks over at Wayfare Foods sponsored our most recent Iron Chef competition at Animal Rights Coalition. I lost my crown to my protegé, Kaylynn, who made a pretty rockin' chili with nacho cheese sauce. However; since this is my blog, this is all about my beer cheese soup recipe.

(We Can’t Say It’s) Beer Cheese Soup

(Makes about 8-10 servings)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp soy margarine
½ tsp salt
1 leek; washed, trimmed, chopped fine
1 large carrot, diced small
3 vegan chicken broth cubes, dissolved in 6-8 cups boiling water
½ cup all purpose flour
½ tsp dry mustard
½ tsp vegan Worcestershire sauce
12 oz. dark German beer
2 containers Wayfare Foods’s “We Can’t Say It’s Cheese” cheddar spread
Salt and white pepper to taste

In a large stock pot, melt the oil and margarine together. On low-medium heat, cook the leek and carrot with the salt until soft and caramelized, but not browned. Lower the heat if needed. In a large measuring cup, whisk the flour, mustard, and Worcestershire with 1 ½ cups of the broth. Use an immersion blender if the flour clumps up. Add to the pot along with the remaining broth. Whisk until well incorporated if you like chunks, but this is a good time to blend the soup with an immersion blender, or by batches in a regular blender. Add beer and cheese. Turn the heat on low and cook, stirring often until the cheese is melted and blended in. Taste for salt and white pepper. Serve with pumpernickel rye bread, and grilled vegan kielbasa.

I'm so not upset that I lost because the new vegan that picked me for the vegan mentor program took home the prize! Also, I have a ton of leftover German beer that I should probably not drink whilst blogging. Urp.

This is why you're [a] fat [vegan].

2011-05-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

This has been a rough week. I didn't lose any weight, and I totally deserved not to. My special someone is out of town working until Memorial Day weekend, also. Without going into detail, I've been eating some stuff that I know I shouldn't even have in the house.

But then I saw this, and knew it was my duty to make it vegan. I'd already done the Lasandwich, and also had fun with Lasagna Cupcakes, so I needed this as the final chapter in the lasagna-stunt-food trilogy.

I started with a plain pizza crust from the Wedge. I covered it in Muir Glen pizza sauce. Layered on some whole wheat oven-ready lasagna noodles, tofu ricotta, spinach, Upton's Italian sausage, more sauce, Daiya mozzarella, and some Yves pepperoni. I thought of layering more, but I was working with a pizza stone instead of a dish, and I also wanted it to retain it's handheld-pizza-ness and not have it become a mess. Here's the final result:

Vegan Pizzagna!

Buh. Normally, I can eat an entire pizza without so much as a breath. I had one piece of this and I'm stuffed. Uncomfortably stuffed. I'm scared to find out how many Weight Watchers points this is. It might break the site.

Back from computer limbo.

2011-04-28T09:20:00.000-07:00

I'm actually still kind of in it, since the machine I'm working on now is just a temporary one on loan from the guy who has my Dell. A number of things happened in the span of a few weeks: First, my big fancy computer had a small fire and quite dramatically gave up the ghost. I was sitting right here, plugged in my cell phone to charge (this was in the Samsung Behold II days; that phone eats chargers and I was once again relegated to using the USB cord), and I suddenly smelled electrical burning and then *poof*, my computer just blinked off. I set up my old Dell, which isn't big and fancy, but it works (albeit a tad loudly), and gave the dead one to a friend to look at. Sure enough, burned a hole right through the motherboard and took out the memory and processor with it.

Then the Dell woke up one morning with a bad case of Blue Screen of Death.

So, while Matt is trying to recover what I had on it (namely brand new downloads of the Dessa and Adele albums), I will post all the foodie things I've been up to while suffering computer withdrawals.

Filed under "Totally Awesome," I'm testing for Alicia Simpson. Today I finally got some stuff and made her zucchini fritters. No, you can't have the recipe, but you can have a picture.

Last Easter Sunday was the Worldwide Vegan Bake Sale. I posted a gazillion pictures on Facebook, but here are a few of the things I brought:

Hannah Kaminsky's Root Beer Float cupcakes from My Sweet Vegan, Isa's Lemon Gem Cupcakes (made to look like little aquariums), and my own orange creamsicle cupcakes.

I think the aquarium ones went a little slower despite the cheap price due to 1. Hello? Blue food. And 2. I had to bring everything in a crazy old lady cart and when said cart fell off the bus, these guys got the worst of it. Note for future bake sales: bring extra frosting for spackling. Anyway, they had Fruit Pebbles in the bottom, so it looked like aquarium gravel! Super cute.

I was asked if I would give up the recipe for the orange cupcakes. Here you go:

Orange Creamsicle Cupcakes
Makes 12-14

1 1/3 cups all purpose flour
2 Tbsp cornstarch
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup orange juice
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 stick vegan margarine
1 cup sugar
1 tsp orange extract
1 1/2 tsp bourbon vanilla extract (Trader Joe's has this)

Muffin pan, cupcake liners. 350° oven. You know the drill.

Sift together in a medium bowl all the dry ingredients. In a mixer, beat the margarine and sugar until soft and creamy and not melty. Quickly add the OJ, vinegar, and extracts. Beat until blended. Add dry mixture, and mix until moistened but don't overmix. Fill muffin cups 3/4 full. If you go over (I did), either eat it raw or make additional ones in another pan. Be sure to fill any empty spaces in your muffin pan with water so your cuppers bake evenly.

Cool in pan for ten minutes, move to rack to cool completely. Frost with your favorite vegan buttercream frosting, but make it extra vanilla-y. Lazy vegans: Pillsbury Buttercream Frosting may be vegan. I am waiting for them to return my email about where the mono- and diglycerides are sourced. In the meantime, just whip up some Earth Balance with powdered sugar and vanilla. Frost. Decorate with candy orange slices and popsicle sticks.

Christmas 2009, my job clearanced out a bunch of crappy little appliances to 90% off, and I scored an omelet maker for $1. This thing makes bitchen vegan omelets. You can use the recipe in Vegan Brunch, or just experiment like I did with lite silken tofu, cornstarch, besan flour, kala namak (black salt) turmeric, and whatever else you like. I have found that my perfect omelet has fresh spinach blended in, mushrooms, green onions, and Daiya cheddar.

Here's one with some sweet potato frites (that got a little...brown...in the oven).

This is something I threw together because I love Ethiopian food, and had all this stuff in the house. Also, everything came from the corner store a block away! Those "vegan-meal-from-convenience-store-ingredients" challenges would be unfair if I participated. Anyway, It's a bag of yellow split peas (soaked, drained, rinsed)slow cooked all day on low with about six cups of water. Then add onion, green pepper, lots of grated fresh ginger, salt, cumin, turmeric, crushed dried red pepper, chopped carrots, a small chopped up head of cabbage, two minced cloves of garlic, and a bay leaf. Slow cook another hour or so, or until you can't stand it anymore and have to eat. No rules, no measuring. Just put in the stuff you like.

Now, filed under "Stunt Food," but not nearly as awful for you as say, a Luther or a Cherpumple...Lasagna Cupcakes!

Now, if you've made it through all that, I just want to remind everyone to subscribe to Midwest Vegan Radio on iTunes. Like it on Facebook. Bring it up on your pages, blogs, and in awkward silences in work meetings. Become a mentor, or, if you're a new vegan, find out more about getting a mentor!

Okay, kids. Hoping that isn't all for a while. I'm still testing, baking, and got a lot of irons in my vegan fire right now. I've also got a Big Birthday coming up, a possible trip...and all the while, trying to drop some weight. Look forward to some lowfat recipes!

It's that time again!

2011-04-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

Twin Cities: Worldwide Vegan Bake Sale
317 West 48th Street (48th & Grand)
Easter Sunday, April 24, 1pm-5pm or until everything's gone, so GET THERE EARLY!

I'm making at least two kinds of cupcakes. I hear there will be vegan Cadbury eggs. As always, there will be lots of yummies, friendly faces, and no tables full of dead pig or baskets full of chicken periods dyed festive colors. Where would you rather spend Easter? I think Jesus would be much more down with a cruelty free holiday, don't you think?

Oh, and another thing. I bought these at Marshall's because I thought, "Whoa, no pan needed? I have a cookie sheet that could hold way more than 12 cupcakes!" No no no no no. Maybe three cupcakes came out looking normal. The rest either got HUGE, or baked around another cupcake. It's hard to describe. Just know this: When making cupcakes, use a muffin pan. That is all.

Saturday! Come stuff your face (and your fridge)!

2011-03-03T21:28:00.000-08:00

You Twin Cities folks with a little space to fill in your refrigerator need to come down to the Gourmet Vegan Heat and Eat Smorgasbord at Ethique Nouveau this Saturday, March 5.

Come down with your reusable shopping bags, and stock up on all sorts of vegan goodies as if you lived in a real city where you had a deli counter that contained ONLY vegan entrées, salads, soups, and baked goods. Sounds awesome, right? I know! So get down to 317 West 48th Street Saturday between noon and 3:00pm. But come early to get the best selection!

Psst...I'm making sweet potato chili.

Admonished by Weight Watchers

2011-02-13T10:07:00.000-08:00

I was not so much congratulated on my recent weight loss (17 lbs in two weeks), as I was yelled at for losing too fast. I'm trying to limit sugar as much as possible, and increase healthier choices, and it's just falling off. They told me to slow it down or I might DIE. Okay, they didn't say that, but they listed a bunch of ailments/disorders that could result from that.

So, I'm trying to use up points eating more things that I'd banished for being too point-y: nut butters, bread, pasta, and rice. Now I feel stuffed to the gills when I go to bed, and yet wake up starving. I only buy whole grains, and white flour is no longer welcome in my house, so what gives? I think I'm going to start making more low-carb, high protein dinners with chickpea cutlets, tempeh, etc. and use my carbs for earlier in the day.

This is so exciting, isn't it? I'll start taking pictures again, soon.

Week one.

2011-02-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

It was a hard week. Not because I was starving or missing anything (other than energy drinks, which are a whopping eight points per can!), but because my vegan ass ate a lot of stuff that was low in points. I ended nearly every day with a full belly and a surplus of points in the teens. Normally, one could just blow those on cookies or Peanut Butter Zig Zag, but I know myself very well. I can't have such things in my house because they trigger me like crazy.

Anyhoo, I lost ten pounds. Smiley face. Treated myself to a peppermint chocolate Luna bar. Which is only five points. I need to start eating avocados or something.

Enough!

2011-02-01T10:52:00.000-08:00

I have finally emerged from my depression cocoon and have decided to make a couple changes. First, I'm jumping back into the weight loss pool. Second, I plan to blog about it.

Those of you who knew me back in 2001, when I lost all that weight, , should probably recall the things I did with the bland, astronaut/school lunch food that was supplied by Nutri/System. Now the program has completely changed, but unless I decide to give up veganism (not happening), I don't plan on going back. I had some success on Weight Watchers for a while, so I'm doing that again. This time, no meetings (that shit's expensive), just online. I have a gaggle of broads to email with all day long about annoying things like, how many points in the handful of chocolate chips I just poured into my mouth, and what color our pee is.

The thing about the "new" WW program is the revamped point system. Now, fruits and veggies, for the most part, are zero points. I know that some things need to be counted, like dried fruit, smoothies, and bananas...after all, this ain't my first rodeo. But when I realized that my daily point value (which you're supposed to eat all of) is something pretty hard to achieve for a vegan, which begs the question, how the fuck did I get so fat?

Anyway, I hope you all are excited for updates about pounds and inches, and pictures of rabbit food. Or, um...rabbit food that's much more rabbit-y.

Spent.

2010-11-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

Don't hate me because I am ending MoFo on such a boring note. I'm out of food, out of money, out of patience, and seriously running out of bandaids to cover the many cooking injuries I've sustained in the last month. I am proud to say that I only broke one glass. It just gouged out a chunk of my pinky in the process.

Tonight, I'm either going to make regular old spaghetti with Newman's Own marinara, or a bowl of Special K Red Berries. Both are totally comforting, and almost zero work. I also have three little faces staring up at me because I am late with bowl-filling.

In the last two days, I've come up with loads of ideas for next year. A European week, Chili week, Pasta week...and I need to remember to look at this before next MoFo. I just found my list of ideas for this year...on the 27th. Yay.

I hope it was a fun month for everyone. I know I've put on at least five pounds, and I can't be alone in this. I'm excited for Isa's new book, so I can start eating like a normal vegan.

Alright guys...I'll try not to be quiet too long. Me sleep now.

Go vegan. Stay vegan.

New discoveries

2010-11-29T20:46:00.000-08:00

It's awesome when you find something that's vegan, that you never knew existed, and it turns out to be great. My latest discovery is Mimicreme. This stuff is amazing! I knew it existed, because I'd heard talk of it, but I don't usually shop the asceptic boxes of non-dairy milk, and that's where it is. I got some, wondering if I could whip it (ended up using Soyatoo), but then took it with me on Thanksgiving to make the green bean casserole. Then I used it to make macaroni & cheeze.

I am in LOVE. It doesn't separate, and it comes in unsweetened, so I can use it in savory recipes. It mixed really nicely with white wine, as well as margarine and Daiya. It really is easy to use for any kind of "creamy" needs.

Tonight, I'm going to share the recipe for some soup that calls for it. I have tried making creamy soups with soy creamer, and it just didn't do it for me. This totally hit it on the head.

You can tell I slurped some up before I took pictures.

Creamy Potato, Mushroom, and Asparagus Soup
Makes 4 servings

1 small onion, chopped
1 tbsp olive oil
2 cups cremini mushrooms, sliced
1 tsp crushed garlic
1 quart vegetable stock or boullion
3 average red potatoes, cut into bite sized pieces (I leave the skins on)
8 spears asparagus, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 carrot, peeled and diced
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried rosemary
1/4 cup cooking sherry
salt, pepper
1/2 cup Mimicreme

Heat the olive oil in your soup pot, and cook the onion and mushrooms on medium heat until the onion is translucent and the mushrooms are nearly black. Add garlic, and cook for a couple minutes. Add broth, potatoes, carrot, and herbs. Cook until veggies are near tender, about 7 minutes. Then add asparagus, and cook for another 5. Add sherry. Salt and pepper to taste. Add Mimicreme. Heat through, and serve.

Last Iron Chef of MoFo IV: Cranberries

2010-11-28T14:29:00.000-08:00

I was really quite proud of my cranberry sauce this year. It had vanilla and cardamom in it, and had a warmth to it that was very different from all my years using orange zest. Cardamom is up there with nutmeg as spices that bring back all kinds of memories. My mom used them interchangeably, and always made for delicious rice and bread puddings. I wanted to do something similar for Iron Chef, but not just sauce. I had just picked up another quart of Silk Nog, although I still had plenty from the last one. I also had a fresh nutmeg.

If you like sugar, and who doesn't, you'll love these.

Cranberry Walnut Nog Fudge
Makes 30-40 pieces
(thanks to cute and delicious for posting her Best Vegan Fudge recipe, so I had a starting point)

1 1/3 cups Silk Nog
2 cups sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
4 tbsp Earth Balance
2 tbsp light corn syrup
3/4 cup vegan white chocolate chips I use these dudes)
1 tsp rum extract (or vanilla if you have no rum)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 nutmeg + more for sprinkling

Melt the first six ingredients, stirring constantly, over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, and heat, stirring occasionally until the mixture reaches 250° (if you don't have a candy thermometer, you can try the cold water test. You want it at the firm ball stage). Remove from heat, stir in the rum extract, and cool to 110° (about 15 minutes or so). Take a wooden spoon, and beat the fuck out of it for about ten minutes, or until it starts to not look so glossy. Beat in the cranberries, walnuts, and 1/2 tsp nutmeg.

Meanwhile, have ready a nonstick brownie pan that you have buttered with EB. OR, line it with foil and butter the inside.

Pour the hot fudge into the pan. Sprinkle with nutmeg like it's a big glass of delicious nog. Cover with foil and refrigerate for a couple hours. Eat, or wrap up as gifts.

Panzanella (Italian Bread Salad)

2010-11-27T16:53:00.000-08:00

Getting more comfortable with the new camera. Found that it works much better on the "closeup" setting than on the "food" setting. Will try again in natural light, should I ever get up and cook before dark.

Traditional Panzanella recipes suggest rubbing a peeled, halved garlic clove all over the inside of the bowl, and all over the spoon. I skipped this, because I bought some roasted garlic Italian bread from the Wedge, and it had huge chunks of garlic throught the whole loaf. I cut it up and dried it, then soaked the pieces for just a second. Now I had bread I could work with; chewy crust, soft bread.

This is a very comforting salad. Little bit of baby greens, marinated veggies, chunks of rustic bread, and a salty, olive oil based dressing. Tomatoes and basil are a must. I made it very quickly.

Dressing
for two salads

1 tbsp red wine vinegar
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp crushed garlic
salt & pepper to taste

Whisk until blended.

This would also be good with vegan tuna, roasted red peppers, sweet onion, and olives. I just used what I had on hand. It was worth running out in the cold and coming dangerously close to dealing with Holidazzle crowds to pick up basil.

Tomorrow: Iron Chef: Battle Cranberries. Stay tuned!

Consume!

2010-11-26T17:20:00.000-08:00

I was perfectly happy to spend Black Friday at home, doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen, but curiosity got the best of me and I looked at the Target ad. The $140 camera I wanted was $79! I was downtown within a half hour.

I obviously need to play around with it more. Some things look way better, but some things still look like shit. I took a bunch of pictures of this salad, and realized they were not great after I transferred them to the computer. At this point, half the salad was in my mouth. Oofps.

I know I promised two salads today, but that was more for me, and I think I can forgive myself. I would also have to head out for more ingredients, and my fridge is already packed. Well, it wouldn't be if the Cherberple was gone. I need to pack that up and start giving it away before it fossilizes.

Greek Dressing

Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 tsp capers
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tbsp dried oregano
pinch salt
olive oil

Blend the first five ingredients, then add oil in a thin stream until dressing becomes somewhat creamy.

I tossed some red onions, cucumbers, artichoke hearts, red and green peppers in the dressing. Then soaked a few cubes of tofu in a red wine vinegar/oregano marinade. It didn't taste like feta, but it was good in the salad.

Veggies I used: Romaine lettuce, cucumber, red onion, artichoke hearts, green pepper, roasted red pepper, kalamata olives, peperoncini rings, and a load of oregano. Once the whole salad was combined, I didn't worry about the absence of cheese flavor. Next time, I'll just leave out the tofu.

Now...off to play with my new toy.

The Feast of the Beast

2010-11-25T20:42:00.000-08:00

I just want to shake my head in disappointment of all the people who said, "Happy Turkey Day!" today. There is not much happy in the US today for turkeys. Except these guys playing soccer.

With that said, I will finally say that I am thankful that I got to spend this holiday with vegans. It really is a relief to have a meal with friends and not have to explain, educate, and defend myself while asking, "What's in this?" about everything on the table.

I headed over to the home of Dallas and Brandon this morning, and got to work. My poor time management caused us to nix a couple of items from the menu, but there was still enough food to disable five healthy adults for the rest of the night.

I'm super bummed that I didn't take a few pictures of this because this is the only one, and it sucks a whole ass. It's green bean casserole, and quite possibly the tastiest one I've ever made. Mimicreme, creminis,and white wine. It made all the difference, and made up for the fact that I kind of burned the french-fried onions. Oops.

Loads of mashed potatoes and pumpkin gravy. There's only a smidge of stuffing in that dish because so much of it went into...

The Beast. Layers of walnut and cranberry stuffing, roasted seitan, pumpkin gravy, and mashed potatoes, sealed in with puff pastry. Inspired by Robin Robertson's Thanksgiving-in-One-Dish recipe. It was a HIT, and the Beast will be making appearances at holiday meals to come.

Inside the pan, inside the Beast.

Gingery Pumpkin Cheesecake was had again. The crust turned out very cookie-ish and yum, but the filling just wasn't as high. It was still awesome, though. You've already seen pictures here and here.

Milo the cute.

Two salads tomorrow, I promise. I am just zonked.

Vegan Niçoise

2010-11-24T15:25:00.000-08:00

I think it's hilarious that the Facebook group invented to bring back Tuno has 23 members. I thought, "Wow. 23 people liked it?"

I spent a lot of time online today, scouring for vegan tuna substitutions that didn't involve tofu or chickpeas. Those two are fine if I want to make a tuna salad sandwich, but I needed something with the texture and flavor of tuna itself. The Shannons recommended some Vegieworld product called "Fish Ham" that I wasn't excited enough about to get suited up for a trek up Nicollet to Shuang Hur to look for. So, I did an experiment.

In a glass bowl, I wisked together about 1/2 cup of kosher dill pickle juice, with the little garlic bits in it, and about two teaspoons of Sea Seasonings' Triple Blend.

I then tore up a bunch of pieces of White Wave's plain old seitan in the blue box, and added it to the pickle juice/seaweed mixture. Added about a teaspoon of salt, and let it sit. I went out in the cold to get some groceries, came back, and I had tuna.

It had the texture, and it had the taste. I'm usually put off by things with seaweed flakes in it, but this worked out really well. Since this fish wasn't going to be swimming in Vegenaise or a casserole, it had to really work. I gave myself a high five, and put the rest of the salad together.

Vegan Salad Niçoise
Serves 2

Dressing:
Juice of 1/2 lemon
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp dried basil
1 tbsp capers
couple shakes of onion powder
salt to taste

Blend.

Salad:
1 cup vegan tuna
4 oz. haricots verts (French green beans; the skinny ones)--steamed until tender
3 avg. red skinned potatoes, quartered and boiled until tender
2 tomatoes, cut up
2 very thin slices of red onion
handful of sliced niçoise or black olives
fresh parsley
salt & pepper

Once the beans and potatoes are done cooking, toss with half of the dressing.
Arrange salad on two plates. Sprinkle with parsley, salt, and pepper. Spoon over dressing.

Vegan Cobb Salad

2010-11-23T14:30:00.000-08:00

I remember eating a lot of Cobb Salads when I would go out to eat lunch with my dad at the Calhoun Beach Club. I was six, and everything else on the menu didn't appeal to me like a big bowl of meat, cheese, and ranch dressing. It's definitely a comfort food memory for me.

I really miss creamy salad dressings. I didn't like them as much as an omnivore, but now that I'm vegan, I long for bleu cheese and ranch. I whipped up this ranch dressing today, and I hit it on the head. It was perfect!

Vegan Ranch Dressing
1/2 cup reduced fat Vegenaise (I know the purple one is awesome, but the RF is actually just as good, and with fewer calories)
1/2 tsp onion powder
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 tsp dried dill
pinch salt
1/2 cup unsweetened soy milk

Blend until smooth. Add soy milk slowly, until it reaches your preferred ranch thickness.

The salad is basically your regular green salad with cukes, mushrooms, etc. Toss with dressing. Decorate the top with Smart bacon (I grilled it--AWESOME)or Bac'uns,strips of hickory smoked Tofurky slices, spicy chik'n strips (Boca) or some other kind of vegan chik'n, and your favorite cheezes. I used Daiya cheddar and mozzarella.

Serve with a big piece of toasted baguette, and lots of ice water. Awesome hangover cure.

Pesto Spaghetti Salad

2010-11-22T15:46:00.000-08:00

Just a quick one tonight, as I am currently waiting for my hair to dry, and then I need to get my ass in gear and boogie down to Vegan Drinks in about an hour. I didn't want to take the chance that a) Triple Rock serves a salad other than a bunch of lettuce and a couple cherry tomatoes, and b) what if it turns into One of Those Nights and I don't get home in time to blog? So, here I am.

I made this cold, although I will admit that I do like hot pasta dishes thrown on top of a big salad in a bowl from time to time. Maybe I'll get to that this week.

The only parts of this that took any time were the cooking of the pasta and the making of the dressing.

Creamy Pesto Dressing
Two handfuls fresh basil
handful walnuts
1 tsp sea salt
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
Extra virgin olive oil

Blend the first four ingredients, and add the oil in a stream until creamy. Salt to taste. Toss with cold pasta and veggies.

Drinky time!

Iron Chef! Battle Portobella Mushrooms and Chipotles

2010-11-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

The more I heard about the ice this morning, the less I wanted to get up and go to the store. I was given until 5:00pm my time to do this, and I had to blog it as well as pack it up and head out to Turkey Free Thanksgiving. I got into the Vikings game (tick tock), fell asleep briefly (tick tick tick), and finally got up and slid down the street to the bus and picked up what I needed. My timing was perfect, because I ran into my friend Aaron in the checkout line! We're going to pig out on vegan yummies tonight.

Back to the dish. I have felt just...ugh...since last night. My body is rejecting all the crap from last week. I feel it is necessary to have a week of healthy foods. Namely, salads. Big salads, with a lot of stuff in it. I brainstormed while watching the Vikings lay an egg, and came up with an idea for a chipotle cream. The rest just fell into place. Then I saw red quinoa at the Wedge, and threw that in the basket.

Grilled Portobella Salad with Red Quinoa and Chipotle Cream

Marinade:
1/2 cup Bragg's
few shots of hot sauce
1 tbsp crushed garlic
couple glugs of olive oil
a little salt
One pound portobella mushrooms, washed, degilled, and sliced.

Mix up the marinade. Put the mushrooms in it. Let sit about a half hour.

Salad:
3/4 pound baby greens
1 cup cooked and cooled red quinoa
Grilled red onions, if you want.

Cilantro vinaigrette dressing:
Bunch cilantro
1/3 cup olive oil
3/4 cup champagne vinegar

Blend all ingredients. Salt and adjust to taste.

Heat your grill. If you're putting onions in it, grill those first. Salt while cooking, so they caramelize nicely. Remove with grabbers and set aside.
Grill your marinated mushrooms until brown on both sides.

Toss greens with quinoa and onions. Add other veggies if you want; grape tomatoes, corn, etc. Toss with the cilantro vinaigrette (do this close to serving time). Plate salads, and top each with a few slices of mushroom. Spoon on a little chipotle cream.

Chipotle cream:

1 cup Mimicreme unsweetened
1/2 small can of chipotles in adobo sauce (mostly chipotles)

Blend until smooth. Taste, salt.

Stunt Week crawls to a close: The Cherberple.

2010-11-20T18:50:00.000-08:00

About two weeks ago, my dad sent me a link to this article. I was fascinated, disgusted, and sure of one thing: I was going to make this thing vegan. For those who are scared to click the link, the Cherpumple is what's been hailed as the "Turducken of desserts." Three store bought pies, baked into three cake mix cakes, layered, and frosted with three cans of cream cheese frosting. Makes you sick just to imagine it. Maybe you drool a little.

I'm on vacation starting today. It worked out that the last day of stunt week would involve the biggest stunt of all, and would also fall on my first day off in a bazillion days. I considered sleeping in, but eventually dragged myself up at noon and preheated the oven.

I decided to make a "CherBERple," as opposed to the cherpumple because I didn't want to even try looking for a vegan pumpkin pie, and I didn't want to ruin pumpkin pie for myself (nor anyone I feed this to) before Thursday. The pumpkin pie was replaced with a berry pie.

It took some girl on the intertubes five hours to make this thing. I figured I'd have it photographed and blogged by 6:00pm, leaving me free to...well, do nothing. I can tell you that I hadn't even put the last layer in the oven by six. Also, I burned myself pretty badly with the side of a cookie sheet, so I deserve the extra time. As well as an awesome story to accompany the scar.

Here is layer #1, sometime earlier today:

It's a Marie Callender's Razzleberry Pie baked inside a (Duncan Hines, I think...whichever one is vegan)strawberry cake. Set it aside to cool, and then worked on the second layer: dutch apple baked into a spice cake. When cooled, I inverted the spice cake onto the frosted strawberry layer.

Some minor issues with the structural integrity soon gave way to the cake looking like the Roman Coliseum, and no amount of spackling with two different kinds of frosting (vanilla and lemon) was going to help it. Then the last layer cooled.

This is the only side that was ready for a close-up.

It wasn't until I cut out a slice that the whole thing became a sinkhole.

And here is the "slice," with a little coconut cream.

I couldn't finish it. It had to be a supernova of calories. I'm now off to stop the cake. It's starting to crawl across the counter.

Stunt Week Day 6: Shopsin's Mac n' Cheese Pancakes

2010-11-19T20:38:00.000-08:00

I watched a documentary called "I Like Killing Flies" (I know, not very vegan, huh?)about a month ago, and fell in love with this little store/restaurant in New York City, even though I have never been there. The owner, Kenny Shopsin (above) would probably kick me out if I told him I was vegan and he had to change a dish for me. But with a menu of over 900 items, I know there's at least one thing I could order. Trust me, it's on my list for my next trip out east.

Shopsin's is very well known for a lot of things (Kenny's rules, for one; no parties over four people!), but certainly most mentioned are the mac n' cheese pancakes. I would have never attempted this without Daiya. I have to say, it turned out pretty good.

To make, use your favorite pancake batter recipe. Pour batter onto the griddle. When it's almost time to flip, throw some elbow macaroni (still hot) on the wet side, with a sprinkle or two of Daiya cheddar. Flip. Cook a couple more minutes, and slide onto a plate. I was a little squicked about putting maple syrup on these, but it absolutely made the whole experience complete. Incredibly easy, fun to make, and tasty. This would be a good one for the kids.

Stunt Week Day 5: The Lasandwich

2010-11-18T20:41:00.000-08:00

I read about this thing online, and all I could think was, "How could they do something so wrong to something as awesome as lasagna?"

It's available at UK supermarket, Tesco, and here is the description:

"Between two thick slices of white bread, you'll find a generous filling of diced beef in a tangy tomato and herb sauce, layered with cooked pasta sheets and finished with a creamy cheddar, ricotta and mayonnaise dressing."

Seriously? You call that a lasandwich?

Now this is a Lasandwich.

Vegan lasagna on garlic toasted French bread. This was about four meals.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Announcement for you Minnesota vegans!

17th Annual Turkey-Free/Healthy Harvest Thanksgiving Potluck
Join us on Sunday, November 21 at 5:00pm at Lake Harriet United Methodist Church, 4901 Chowen Ave. S. in Minneapolis for this fun (and filling) event. We had well over 100 people attend last year, and the buffet line was simply amazing.

Please bring a vegan dish (side/main) or dessert to share with others, preferably organic (vegan=no meat, dairy, eggs, gelatin, honey or refined sugar). Also bring a serving utensil, a copy of the recipe/ingredients to set by your dish, your place-setting (plate, cup, utensils).

And, special thank to Turtle Island for donating a Tofurky roast for the event. :)

Stunt Week Day 4: The Luther

2010-11-17T21:16:00.000-08:00

If you do an image Google for "Luther Vandross," you're going to get quite a few pictures of the original version of this. It involves an outrageously huge cheeseburger snuggled between two Krispy Kreme donuts. Apparently, the onetime "Heavyweight of Soul" admitted to enjoying his burgers this way. Of course, now that Luther has shed those pounds, and passed away five years ago, it has been relegated to internet infamy. I wonder if he'd have liked my vegan version?

I started off making a dozen raised donuts. This was a two day process, because the first batch was ruined by dead yeast. I picked up some fresh stuff, and tried again. I need a deep fry thermometer, because my donuts got brown really fast.

I set aside a couple, and took the rest to work, where they were devoured within a half hour. I guess my first attempt at raised donuts wasn't a total disaster.

When I got home, I figured I would trim my veggie burger so it would fit on the donut, otherwise it would just look like a giant patty with a tiny little donut beanie on. As you can see, I don't have a donut cutter; just a biscuit cutter, so they were leetle. Look at the size of that pickle slice!

How did it taste? Um...delicious. I couldn't eat a huge one, but the little slider size was perfect, and may show up on the menu the next time I have the opportunity to serve party food. Super Bowl, perhaps.

Stunt Week Day 3: Maple Bacon Rice Krispie Treats

2010-11-16T21:23:00.000-08:00

I was going to make donuts this morning for another stunt, but my yeast was dead. It took ALL DAY for my dough to rise. I'll try that again tomorrow. Maybe.

In a panic, I took a long lunch and jumped on the bus and headed to the Wedge. They had vegan bacon bits, so I went ahead with something I saw online. I skipped the Nutella and used chocolate chips, and soaked the bacon bits in hot water and maple extract. The result? Absofuckinglutely delicious. Seriously.

Stunt Week Day two: The Loco Moco

2010-11-15T21:32:00.000-08:00

When my parents lived in Hawaii (just before my mother died), I went to visit. My dad took me to a place in Waimea called The Hawaiian Style Cafe. One of the specialties (apparently a staple among Hawaiian restaurants)is a dish called the Loco Moco. When it was described to me, I winced, and I was still an omnivore at the time. A bed of rice, a giant burger patty, a fried egg, and smothered in brown gravy. Well, when I decided to do this, I knew I wasn't about to scramble up some tofu to top an Amy's veggie burger, so I just used a handful of Daiya cheese. I cooked the rice with two mango black tea bags, topped it with the burger and cheese, and ladled on a simple brown gravy made from veggie broth and Bragg's.

Now that pictures are taken, I'm off to throw a bunch of vegetables on this. I feel so dirty. Mahalo!

Stunt Food! Day one: Banshi Rolls

2010-11-14T21:31:00.001-08:00

I woke up at 6:00 this morning with a massive migraine. I took a handful of ibuprofen, followed by some Extra Strength Tylenol two hours later, and then topped it off with Excedrin Migraine when I got to work. The headache wore off sometime around 6:00pm, leaving me with lingering queasiness. I almost scrapped tonight's mofo plan. But I soldiered on, and here it is. Banshi Rolls.

It's a cross between a Burger, pANcake batter, and suSHI. A cheeseburger (Amy's and Daiya), pickles, rolled in sushi rice, coated in batter, and deep fried. It was harder than you'd think, and I was in a hurry, so they came out more like Banshi Blobs. The flavor? Uh...if I'd been drunk? Awesome.

Fluffy white stuff

2010-11-13T18:24:00.001-08:00

Those of you who were wondering: we got our first snow. It started sometime last night/early this morning, and it just stopped a bit ago. When I ran outside in inappropriate footwear to take pictures, it was already at three inches.

But now I want to talk about some other fluffy white stuff. Namely, whipped cream. Vegan whipped cream. I needed to make some for the recipe Hassan chose from Pillsbury Appetizers & Desserts magazine. I didn't want to resort to canned Soyatoo, because it's not only expensive, but I needed to fold some berries into it, and wasn't sure how that would work. I heard somewhere that Rich's non-dairy creamer could be whipped, but the thought of taking any buses today turned me off. I needed to make a trip to the store, but today was just not the day. I went into the fridge to pull out some leftovers for lunch, and that's when I noticed the box of Soyatoo whippable that I was POSITIVE I had used. Crossing my fingers, I got to work.

It didn't make much. Just enough to fill all the puffs, but only top about ten. I now have a can of coconut milk in the fridge, and will finish these up tomorrow before work. A plea to the makers of Soyatoo: That box is nowhere near big enough. And you need to redesign the canned stuff, because I have now purchased two that got clogged after the first use. Seriously. Someone needs to make a vegan equivalent of Cool Whip. I'm completely terrified that these puffs will look like sad little islands in a pan of slushy cream by morning, and like Minnesota snowfalls, will just be shoveled away. I'll say a prayer for the little guys tonight.

Waiting for the snow

2010-11-12T21:29:00.000-08:00

I have never been so ready for winter. I know, I always duck when I say that. But living here my whole life, I know I'd miss the cold and the snow if I moved somewhere warm. My dad packed up everything and moved himself, my mother, and their business out to Hawaii after the Halloween blizzard of '91, declaring that "This will be my last Minnesota winter." Well, he was right, sort of. He retired to his hometown of Valley City, North Dakota, which is not Minnesota, but may as well be. At least Minneapolis has city-run snowplows. Also, driving down to the Cities for holidays kind of puts him back into Minnesota Winter territory.

Shannon also picked tonight's recipe. A very snowy-evening kind of dessert. The original recipe, from Bon Appetit, calls for an obscene amount of eggs. It's supposed to be light, puffy, and soufflé-like. I tried. I whipped silken tofu in a frozen bowl with frozen beaters. I added agar. Powdered sugar. It wasn't going to happen. Instead, I focused on making the pudding taste rich and wonderful, and stopped worrying about being some sort of vegan meringue pioneer.

The pudding is pretty close to the real recipe as far as ingredients go (minus the eggs), with a tofu/Silk Nog/agar/almond extract mixture folded in. The topping is pecans, Earth Balance, brown sugar, gingersnaps, and pumpkin pie spice. The ginger-orange marmalade I used has big pieces of orange zest, which really adds to it. It came out fluffier than I'd expected, which was a nice surprise. In future attempts, I'll add a little cardamom. Because my mom would have.

Sopa de FUBAR

2010-11-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

Relax. The soup turned out fine. I'm still trying to determine if I need stitches or not.

Today's recipe comes from Saveur magazine, and can be found here. Seeing as my vittles from the last few days have been (in order): thrown away due to oversight, ignored, and eaten with a simple review via text message ("I ate it. It's good."), I decided that if I picked one, I would 1. eat it, 2. like it, and 3. never make another goddamn thing for my ungrateful coworkers. Except for my boss. He took the time to call me and tell me how wonderful the coffee cake was. So there.

This soup took FOREVER. The 40-minute whisking and cooking of the cornmeal was a pain in the ass, but it made for a very hearty broth. Instead of chicken, I used veg broth, and also used Tofurky kielbasa for the sausages, and silken tofu for the eggs. I definitely want to make this again, because it is now the only dish involving collards (next to abesha gomen, of course) that I enjoy. Otherwise, that devil green can go to hell. Anyway, during the 40-minute whiskfest, I did a few dishes, and a glass broke as I was sponging out the inside of it. It took a chunk out of my pinky the size of a kernel of corn, and I have since soaked through three paper towels and some gauze. It's now wrapped and taped, but I'm scared that unwrapping it will start the bleeding all over again. Some "awww"s and "poor baby"s would really help me out right now.

Next time I make this, I'm going to immersion blend the tofu into the broth. Whisking didn't quite smooth it out like I'd hoped. I hate those itty bitty white tofu globs. But it tastes pretty awesome. Or I could be getting woozy.

Two things

2010-11-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

I would like everyone to come away from this post knowing two things. 1. Fridley is a backward, redneck suburb. Everyone knows it, but no one says it. Well, I just did. And 2. Parsnips are your friends.

First, I'd like to show this segment from the news last night. Watch Dallas show this hillbilly shithead what's what.

I just want to say that I was SO EXCITED to see her on TV, and worried that I may be a little biased, but then I talked to a coworker who'd happened to see the piece, and talked about what an idiot that guy was, and she had no idea Dallas was my friend, or that we've been trying to stop this event for weeks. If anything good is going to come out of this, we got ARC's name out there, and maybe other schools will reconsider if an event like this is put on the table.

Now, onto MoFo.

My mother made some dish when I was a kid that involved all sorts of rutabagas and whatnot in it, and I hated it so much that I have stigmatized turnips, parsnips, and pretty much any root vegetable out there. When my friend Shannon picked this recipe from Food & Wine magazine, I made a face when I saw that parsnips were on the ingredients list. But since I have turned my attitude around about kale, I figured the same would happen, and I was right.

Parsnips, for one, smell great. I was wondering if I'd spilled some essential oil or something as I was chopping them. Then I noticed that the smell was all over my hands. It kind of reminded me of tea tree. This mellowed in the cooking, and with the addition of herbs and a touch of sherry, really blossomed. This dish is a winner. I want to do a variation of it for Thanksgiving.

Not much to this one. I cut the recipe in half, and subbed vegan ingredients (Boca crumbles for the burger, Daiya for the cheddar, soy for the milk, etc). It came out less like a potpie and more like a kind of hotdish with biscuit dumplings. Next time, I'll double the dough. My dish may also have been too big.

Mmm...yum.

Highly recommended for a lazy, rainy fall day. This is the definition of comfort food.

A sexy pear story.

2010-11-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

Alicia, who works in my store's pharmacy, picked today's recipe. It's from Fine Cooking magazine, and the original can be found here.

The gorgonzola seemed impossible when I found out that Sunergia is no longer available at the Wedge. I've never seen it anywhere else, so I made do with a recipe I found online, but ended up changing it a lot. I also was unlucky finding red anjou pears, so I settled for a couple of lovely Boscs, which were about to whither away if I didn't get on the stick.

As for the pancetta...I figured why ruin this dish with some analog? It totally worked in the potato soup, but not here.

Sexy Bleu Hazelnut Stuffed Pears
Serves 2 (or 4 as an appetizer)

2 pears, halved lengthwise and cored
2 tbsp melted Earth Balance
2 tsp Just Like Honey
pinch salt
1/4 cup Daiya mozzarella, or crumbled superfirm tofu
1 tbsp Vegenaise
2 tsp white miso
splash of light vinegar
1/4 cup + 2 tsp chopped toasted hazelnuts
1/2 tsp chopped fresh thyme
1-2 tbsp Champagne vinegar
1 tsp Dijon mustard
Freshly ground black pepper
3 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
4 cups of baby greens

Heat oven to 375°.
Mix the Daiya (or tofu) with the Vegenaise, miso, and a little vinegar. Salt to taste. Set aside.

Mix one teaspoon of the "honey" into the melted Earth Balance. Brush on the cut sides of the pears. Put cut side up in a pan, and bake for about 15 minutes.

Mix the cheese mixture with the nuts and thyme. Fill cavities in the pears with the mixture, and top with the 2 teaspoons of chopped nuts. Bake for 5 minutes until it looks melty, and then place it under the broiler for about 2 minutes.

Whisk the vinegar, mustard, pepper, and olive oil together. Toss with the baby greens, and divide to two plates. Top each with a pear half. Salt and pepper, enjoy.

I would like to give a huge shout to Dallas Rising of Animal Rights Coalition for totally owning some redneck donkey dealer on the news tonight. *chest bump* As soon as it's available online, I'll post it.

Coffee cake for Kelsey

2010-11-08T08:08:00.000-08:00

A coworker of mine picked today's recipe. The original version is in the current Taste of Home magazine, and can be found here. It says you have to log in to view it, but you can still read it.

I'm meeting my dad today for an early lunch, so I wanted to get this done right away, since I won't have time tonight. I used pecans and vegan white chocolate chips. I also used plain all-purpose flour.

It turned out very gooey, and very sweet. If I make this again, I'll cut down on the sugar, and make it up with more of the dry ingredients. I used flax eggs in the Vitamix, which worked great. Not sure about the chocolate chips. I'd probably do it again and use the walnuts and semi-sweet that it originally called for.

But it makes a damn fine picture!

Magazine Week!

2010-11-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

This week, I'm going to embark on a theme I was going to do last year, but ran out of weeks. Each day will feature a different cooking magazine's recipe that I will veganize, or simply just use as an inspiration. Today is also the deadline for our first Iron Chef challenge: Mashed potatoes.

I found this recipe while trudging through all the pork-and-grease-filled delicacies on the Southern Living website. I scanned it, then got up and got to work. I measured nothing. That's the lovely thing about soup.

Vegan Loaded Potato Soup
2 servings

3 potatoes (I don't think it matters what kind. I used russets, peeled and cubed
1 1/2 cups chick'n veg broth
1 tbsp nooch
3 strips of Smart Bacon or vegan bacon of choice, diced
3 green onions, chopped
1-2 tbsp Earth Balance
salt and pepper
frozen green peas
1/3 cup Wildwood plain soy creamer
2 pieces of bread, ripped apart
Daiya cheddar

Preheat broiler.
Cook the potatoes, and mash them. Cook the bacon and onions in Earth Balance over medium heat until they start smelling awesome. Put the potatoes, broth, nooch, bacon, onions, and peas in the potato pot and heat to boiling. Remove from heat, and stir in some creamer. Salt and pepper to taste. Pour into two oven safe bowls. Top with ripped up bread, and enough Daiya to cover. Broil until melty and nom nom looking. Let cool. Garnish with more green onion, Tofutti sour cream, whatever.

Calm before the storm

2010-11-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

The first week of MoFo is usually a hodgepodge for me, and I get right into themes on the second week. Tonight, I decided to make myself some leftover soup, and a grilled Daiya sandwich.

I like to mix dried rosemary into some Earth Balance and spread that on the outside before grilling. Try it. It's addicting.

So, I went grocery shopping today. I forgot my piece of shit camera, and took cell phone pictures, but they're all too small and bad. I really want a new camera. Something with a great macro setting for food photos. Not incredibly expensive. Good optical zoom. Post recommendations in the comments!

But, one picture I will share is this one.

Oh, hells yes.

Goodnight, MoFoers! Magazine week starts tomorrow.

No more Ms. Nice Vegan

2010-11-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

I will freely admit that I can be a real bitch. But, I am usually pretty cool about doing favors. I don't usually have issues switching shifts with people, or staying to close, or coming in early, and that's pretty rare for my store. Today, I came in early to relieve my sick boss. He left, and then I noticed that no other managers were coming in for five hours. I thought, well, if I get a break, I'll just eat some peanut butter filled pretzels, and I'll be okay. At that point, all I'd eaten was a Hall's.

After hours of doing nothing but helping customers, vendors, following shoplifters, and filling in Christmas candy, I finally called Pizza Lucé and ordered: "A mock muffeleta, no cheese, with rinotta, and the vegan peanut butter bar." I then specified again, "Vegan," and "no animal products." Yeah. I got a muffeleta and the vegan peanut butter bar. There was no cheese on the sandwich. Just oh, about half a pig.

Long story short, um, shorter...it took another half hour for them to make it right. I was still bummed because I knew that sandwich was going to waste and it was just more death for nothing.

My food (vegan; I checked) showed up, and I finally ate around 7:30pm, about seven hours after my breakfast of one lozenge.

If anyone from Pizza Lucé is reading this? You guys totally owe me a free sandwich.

And next time I get a text to come in early? I'm deleting that shit and going back to bed.

Surprise!

2010-11-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

Today I dug out a bag of 17 bean & barley soup mix from Trader Joe's. That's all it is. A bag of beans and some barley. I did a quick soak, and threw it in the slow cooker with some Not Beef broth, and left for work. All day long, I thought, "It's going to suck. I have the worst luck with dried beans. The last time I made this in a pot, it was inedible." Then I got home and was welcomed by a delicious aroma as I entered my third floor hallway. I got inside, stirred the soup, added some leftover diced tomatoes and some Boca crumbles.

What a surprise. The amount of dried basil, salt, and pepper was perfect. The beans were tender and hadn't disintegrated like I'd feared. My tummy has been a mess for a couple of days, and this was just the perfect thing; nourishment without a whole lot of crazy ingredients to make me queasy later. The broth was thick and didn't have any weird foam in it that beans tend to do to my soups. This soup mix is going to be a regular purchase, because I know I can slow cook it and have a wonderful dinner when I get home. Makes me look forward to winter.

Tomorrow's payday. Will I do one last scrounge-in-the-cupboards dinner, or will I go shopping? We'll see.

Out of practice.

2010-11-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that my usual brilliant writing has taken a shit in the last year. I completely own this one. I'm lazy, I have a shitty work schedule, and coming home and throwing some noodles in a bowl with frozen veggies and peanut sauce is hardly blogworthy. I also think I may have sacrificed some precious brain cells. So please, bear with me as I grow back my writing (and creative cooking) legs.

Here's what I'm working with tonight:

Brown basmati rice, some tofu, leftover diced tomatoes, red curry paste, coconut milk, and an onion. I knew it would be a curry of some kind, but I had to get the rice going really fast because it was already 11:00pm, and I have set standards for myself with MoFo. By midnight, or I am a disgrace.

I ended up skipping the tomatoes, and making a red coconut curry tofu with peas. Ah, peas. I just knew I had to have a bag in the freezer. I love them so much. I'll hang on to the tomatoes for something else. Does anyone have some extra creative juices they'd like to give me?

Brokeity ass broke.

2010-11-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

So, the trip ended up costing me a wee bit more than I'd planned. I have a little wiggle room once my cell phone bill is paid, but not enough to go dropping mad cash at Whole Foods like I need to.

So, the Vegan MoFo theme until payday is: Eat What's in the House. Today's lunch: Smokey Acorn Squash Chili. Items used: one acorn squash, one onion, two cloves garlic, some leftover kidney beans, two chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (found that in the back of the cabinet), canned diced tomatoes, and some spices. A little agave and cinnamon made it interesting.

Another sucktastic picture. The breakroom isn't exactly a photo studio, what with the formica and fluorescent lights.

For tomorrow...something with that can of coconut milk lurking in the cabinet? Um, black mango tea? Uh...some Newman's Own Marinara? I guess it all depends on how the election turns out. I may just eat cereal for the next few days.

Happy World Vegan Day!

2010-11-01T18:04:00.000-07:00

Oh, and Happy Vegan Month of Food! Day one!

I came home today after a long weekend with friends in Chicago. I'm pretty jealous because a) Chicago has way more vegan choices for restaurants, and b) the tap water is drinkable. I'm also in love with Ellie and Tim's beautiful house and pantry. A pantry! I now have a new prerequisite for future apartments.

Ellie picked me up at the airport on Friday, and we went straight to Demera. We have a tradition with Ethiopian Diamond, but this is a new place that deserved our gusto for all things served on injera. The tikle gomen was amazing. The ye-misir wot: heavenly. We destroyed our lunch before I had a chance to take a picture of it in it's whole form, so here's the damage:

Afterward, we hit the Asian market and Whole Foods. Once loaded up with provisions, we planned out the food and timing for the Haunted Housewarming. We caught a sliver of a show at The Empty Bottle, and headed home. Saturday was going to be busy as hell, so I insisted on brunch the next morning. We went to Lula Cafe in Logan Square. It got all kinds of raves on Yelp for it's vegan-ness, but I was stuck with one menu item. Tofu Scramble, which I wanted anyway. What didn't do it for me was the cubed tofu (I like my scramble scrambled), the goddamned cantaloupe in the fruit dish, and that stuff there on the right? Not Earth Balance.

The Gimme Lean sausage patties and the coffee were good, and it fueled us for our day in the kitchen.

I truly suck at life because Ellie and I made a TON of sushi, and I got no pictures of it. Two platters each of nori rolls and inari parcels. I made three batches of rice; one that was made pink with beets, one that was yellow with shiitake mushrooms and green onions, and one that was red with raw beet, carrot, and spinach. We rolled cucumber, bell peppers, green onion, and avocado. The inari pouches (plain fried, turmeric yellow, and spicy red) were stuffed with ginger and the different kinds of rice. I guess they were a hit, because they were inhaled.

Ellie whipped up a batch of my Mediterranean Red Lentil Iron Chef Soup:

And I finished making the cupcakes as people started to arrive. They are gluten free, chocolate with peanut butter caramel filling, and chocolate ganache. This picture sucks.

The weird holes on top are from filling them by hand. Chunky peanut butter + Wilton pastry bag = peanut butter caramel explosion. Which doesn't sound that bad, but it is when you have guests storming the kitchen.

Now, as for Mofo...I have been contemplating several themes. Magazine recipes veganized, candy week, squash week...but am looking for more. Tomorrow will be a late night post, I'm sure.

In case you missed it...

2010-10-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

Mofo is November this year. I was disappointed, because I seriously need a kick in the ass and was hoping I'd get it sooner. Anyway:

PROS: I'll be in Chicago until the first, so my first entry will be about all the yummy stuff I ate/made while there.
Thankgiving!
Two words: Squash Week.

I can't think of any cons, since my creative mind has been a dusty, echoey storage bin lately. But I have been thinking about themes, hoping for some Iron Chef memes, and looking forward to a Facebook wall full of delicious porn.

No promises, but I'll try to warm up this month in preparation for the marathon that is Mofo.

Trying out some fancy

2010-07-01T19:35:00.001-07:00

I know, there's lots of stuff to talk about. Iron Chef (me!), the Waffle Party, my trip to Los Angeles, my first annual 39th birthday, and blah blah blah. I've never had so much to blog about and had so little time. It used to be the reverse.

So, just quickly, for tonight, here's a taste. My friend Ed told me that some restaurant in St. Paul served a chickpea-wild-rice burger. Not to be outdone, I ransacked my kitchen in search of ingredients. I had dried chickpeas, so I did a fast soak and slow cooked them. I had some wild rice, but...ew. Have you seen what happens to bagged grains if you don't use them for eight months? I can't even say it, let alone type it. So. Grossed. Out. I did, however; have a brand new bag of brown basmati (which I immediately transfered to a Rubbermaid container). This is what I came up with.

Chickpea and Basmati Burgers (with mashed potatoes, sautéed garlic scapes, and a balsamic reduction. Someone thinks she's all gourmet n' shit)

I made a ton of these and I just need to tweak it a little before I post a recipe. If you want it. It kind of sounds like how vegan food sounds to asshole omnivores (before you get all upset, notice I said "asshole omnivores," not "omnivore assholes"); kind of beige, a little hippie, and for sure blah. Not the case. They were very hearty in texture (one might say, "meaty"!), sweet and savory, and a little spicy. More to come.

Mistress of my domain.

2010-06-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

Brandon the Awesome set me up with downhomevegan.com because he's rad and I'm a luddite when it comes to all this .com stuff. It appears to be working. You should see www.downhomevegan.com up in the url bar instead of the blogspot.com url. Right?

Anyway, today was supposed to be potluck day, but it looks like everyone called off due to rain. This is a mixed blessing for me, as I have just rolled out of bed (goddamn Rescue Me keeping me up til 4:00am), and I have nothing to bring. The thing starts in an hour, and here I sit blogging when I could be running to Whole Foods and then jumping on a bus out to Tangletown to possibly no one. I have an LA trip to save for (now that a simple mistake led to a MILLION repercussions with my money), and I have dinner with my brother tonight.

I also hate the rain. It sucks ten times worse when you don't have a car.

Catching up.

2010-05-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

Oy, I have not much of an excuse for staying away for so long. One is that I am lazy, and the other is that I lost my camera. But then I found it, so laziness wins out.

Much stuff going on in the little vegan world in Minneapolis. I'll start with two fun and successful bake sales! The first one was to benefit Kinship Circle; an organization organizing rescues for abandoned and injured animals after the Haiti earthquake. The Worldwide Vegan Bake Sale (Twin Cities style) took place at Ethique Nouveau on April 24. Here are some pictures from both (this was also my chance to get some shots of the new store!) :

This tree is in the front window. I love that they bought Aqua Globes.

Beautiful jewelry, handbags, and cosmetics.

Those avocado brownies were awesome. Really. I swear.

These cranberry-almond muffins got many five-star reviews.

Celeste's truffles. By popular demand, they also appeared at the next bake sale.

These are mine. Lemony macadamia white chocolate scones, and double chocolate muffins.

On May 14, I attended a sushi class at the home of Ciree Linsenman. I had a blast (hanging out with other vegans usually is), and found out that assembling sushi is really not that hard. I'm looking forward to having some friends over to roll our own. These pictures were taken with my new Samsung Behold II phone, as I had misplaced my camera. As you can see, it takes pretty okay pictures of food, while my digital camera leaves much to be desired. I guess six years is long enough. Time to get a camera that takes good food pictures, dammit.

Gobo Boats: red quinoa with pickled burdock root. Color is from beets.

Tavo Tavo Maki.

Tavo Tavo Maki, pre-rolled.

Rainbow Inari parcels.

Black Dragon Back Roll (in the back, with the bok choy sticking out).

Coming soon: Waffles! Iron Chef! Skin Trade movie premier! Stay tuned.

Scrapping the Deen Project.

2010-03-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

I got the book. I should have browsed it before ordering it, but at least it cost next to nothing. Holy shit. This woman really can't cook, and just buries it under Ritz crackers and cups of butter. There is no way I could put that many containers of Tofutti and Earth Balance through any of that. The PCRM was right; I thought they meant worst as in it's lack of nutrition, but seriously, folks. This chick makes my arch-nemesis Sandra Lee look like Julia-freaking-Child. Here's a gem from Main Courses:

Cheeseburger Meat Loaf and Sauce

2 lbs ground cow
2 tsp House Seasoning (salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Fancy!)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium bell pepper, chopped (the veggies stop there)
1 cup grated cheddar
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 cup sour cream
1 cup crushed Ritz crackers
1 tsp Lawry's Seasoned salt
8-10 slices of white bread.

Now, for the sauce:
One 10 3/4-ounce can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 soup-can measure of milk
1 1/2 cups grated cheddar

I imagined subbing Gimme Lean for the cow, vegan versions of Worcestershire, cheese, and sour cream, and it still sounded like something I'd find splattered on the sidewalk on a Saturday morning walk to work.

I'm keeping the book, though. It will remind me why I'm vegan, and will make for good drunken conversations. I can make trashy American food without her help, and have it be delicious.

Back to the drawing board. There must be a "good" omni book out there I could rewrite. Right?

Seriously? March already?

2010-03-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling very unmotivated lately. I'm trying to find a new job, which requires getting up before 1:00pm, but what I really need is a project. I was so motivated and full of energy during VeganMoFo, and I need that back. I decided to take on a Julie & Julia type project, but not something like making everything in Robin Robertson's new book (1000 Vegan Recipes). Instead, I am going to buy Paula Deen's Kitchen Classics

(used of course), and veganize every recipe in it.

Two things you should know about this book: 1. It's actually two cookbooks (The Lady & Sons Savannah Country Cookbook and The Lady & Sons, Too!) so it's over 400 pages. That's a lot of recipes to make in one year. Yep, one year. 2. The Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine called it the worst cookbook of all time in terms of nutritional value. The whole thing is dripping in butter and cream. I'll try to make everything without using nearly as much in vegan substitutes. Earth Balance is expensive, yo!

When will I start this? As soon as I get the book and make a big trip to the store. I have no idea yet what I'm getting into.

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

Some pictures from Thursday.

The faux turkey:

I used Robin Robertson's recipe for the seitan, and made a pecan/apple sage sausage/orange cranberry/mushroom stuffing.

Sorry that's so blurry.

Autumn rolls from Veganomicon:

From the same book, Autumn Latkes and Horseradish Dill Sour Cream:

Gingerbread Apple Pie from VwaV:

Pumpkin Cheesecake from VeganMoFo last year (not the cake, the recipe):

Brandon made the mashed potatoes and brussels sprouts. He also supplied the comedy and beer.

'Lona supplied the adorable Floridian accent.

Aaron had seconds. I was impressed. I had one plate and passed out.

Warren helped clean up by catching everything I dropped on the floor.

Dessert is always my favorite.

Taz wants to jump up on the table and join us.

And Milo's in the potatoes.

More from the test kitchen

2009-11-19T18:35:00.000-08:00

Eggplant Lentil Chili Molé with Fresh Corn and Scallion Cornbread. This was totally worth the week-long hunt for an eggplant.

Thoughts on the impending holidays

2009-11-13T20:33:00.000-08:00

It's still unseasonably warm here in Minnesota (jean jacket weather; although I have seen what had to be tourists wearing mittens. I mean really? Mittens?) It's 49°. True Minnesotans are still in their flip flops.

I was approved to have Thanksgiving off, but in exchange, I have to work open to close on Christmas Day. It's only 10am to 8pm, and hello? Double time! I think I can skip seeing Uncle John get wasted for one year. Anyway, I've over-promised for Thanksgiving, so I'm thinking about having it...here. My familiar kitchen with everything I need, my own wonky oven that won't slam shut and turn itself on auto-clean for no reason, and lots of people for the kitties to love on. Is anyone else hosting this year? Pointers? Tips? I might be testing my ideas out on myself before the big day, just so I can improve on it or talk myself out of making a mess of it all.

For those of you in the Twin Cities, there will be a "Turkey-Free/ Healthy Harvest" Thanksgiving potluck on Sunday, November 22 from 6pm-8:30pm at Lake Harriet Methodist Church, 4901 Chowen Avenue S. It's free, and co-sponsored by Earthsave Twin Cities, Animal Rights Coalition, and Alliance for Sustainability. You don't have to be veg*n to come, but they do ask that you bring a vegan dish to share. Bring a place card with the recipe, and your place setting.

I'm playing with the idea of doing cookie boxes for everyone this year, although I recall doing it one year and it was a nightmare. Those of you who feel gypped if they get a homemade present? You have no idea of the tears behind it. Appreciate that shit.

MoFo comes to a close...

2009-10-31T20:36:00.000-07:00

I'm writing to you as I wait for my Li'l Gracie to be delivered from Pizza Lucé. Nope, I didn't make dough this morning, and the stupid bus system effed up my attempt to pick up a ready-made dough or crust at The Wedge earlier, so it was either take a bus up to Lund's for an Amy's and scurry home, praying to blog before midnight, or just order a damn Lucé. They do have the best vegan pizza in town, although Galactic comes awful close just because they have vegan cheesecake. Lucé has the vegan chocolate peanut butter rice krispie bar, which is pretty damn delicious, but it's no vegan cheesecake.

Anyway, this year was a lot of fun. I'm a little sad it's over, but at the same time relieved. I can now come home and have a peanut butter sandwich for dinner if I want, and I can finally get to the mountain of mofo dishes in the sink. Also, I can try to resume sort sort of personal life. I have turned down a couple of dates because I had to go home and blog, and once I'm home, I'm home. It's really hard to get me out of the house again. Unless I have to run up the street for a green pepper, but that's important.

I will try to be a more productive blogger (I know, I know...famous last words). I do love cooking and eating and making people happy by filling their bellies with yummy food, so it should be a no-brainer. Also, stick around if you're interested in what's up with Animal Rights Coalition, because we always have something coming up. Looking to get active, and you live here in the Twin Cities? Become a member and hang out with the coolest vegans in town. Also, you get a subscription to VegNews out of the deal, so it's a win-win.

Where's my damned pizza?

Here's some kitties for you:

Cool:

Mischka:

and Bowie, on his 2nd birthday back in June:

And my dinner!!!

Mmmm. Even now as I am sick of pizza, I would never be sick of that bar.

Happy MoFo!
Happy Halloween!

Home stretch...

2009-10-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

Second to the last pizza for pizza week, and then VeganMoFo is over for 2009. I still don't have much of an idea of what to do tomorrow. Something Halloweeny, I guess. We shall see.

Today's was easy, though. Chipotle Pizza.

By the way, I can make pizza dough blindfolded, now. I have even stopped measuring as I add ingredients to the machine. In this one, I added one chipotle pepper (from a can), chopped into teeny weenie little bits, and some oregano.

The toppings are: a spicy Italian pizza sauce, tvp burger crumbles, corn, green peppers, onion, Teese cheddar or nacho cheese, and black olives. For some reason, this one took a little longer. Probably due to using a smaller pan, I was forced to have a thicker crust. Yummy!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Baba Ghanoush Pizza

2009-10-29T21:29:00.000-07:00

I really didn't know where I was heading with this, but I knew I wanted to use some sort of white bean spread, and sun dried tomatoes. After salting the eggplant, making the dough, and noticing that I had some fresh mint and pine nuts...it hit me.

Here it is, pre-oven:

And post:

Basically, it's a sun-dried tomato pizza dough, topped with white bean pesto, eggplant, spinach, garlic, cherry tomatoes, and pine nuts. Drizzle on a lemon-tahini sauce (I added a little red wine vinegar because I ran out of lemons), and bake at 400° for ten, and then 475° for five. That way, the eggplant and pine nuts get all roasty-toasty.

French Bread Pizza

2009-10-28T20:56:00.001-07:00

Somebody, please find me a vegan cheese that melts. Teese came close, but nope. I am hoping this is something that comes about in the next year. Then again, I usually prefer pizza cheeseless, but the other toppings sort of required that faux dairy topping.

This was super fast and easy to throw together. I used Muir Glen pizza sauce, Tofurkey Italian Sausage (I usually make my own sausages, but Tofurkey has been on sale everywhere, and it's just been so hard to resist!), green peppers, mushrooms, and Teese mozzarella. Which doesn't melt.

Thanksgiving Calzones

2009-10-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

I was going to make this as a pizza, but the more I thought about it, the image of a soggy crust piled high with Tofurkey, mashed potatoes, and gravy didn't really strike me as pretty food. So, I got out my little pastry press (which I quickly abandoned in favor of my own fingers*), and made little Thanksgiving dinners in a pocket. This also is my result for Iron Chef Battle: Carrots and Pumpkin. There's a little cooked carrot in there, some mashed potatoes, a couple slices of Tofurkey Oven Roasted Slices, and a dollop of cranberry sauce. On the side is my Pumpkin Gravy, which was a hit at last year's Thanksgiving.

The money shot.

I know what you're thinking. Where's the forking stuffing? Well, in this recipe, the stuffing is on the outside. I made a whole wheat pizza dough, and added to it sage, lots of black pepper, rosemary, a little celery seed, and some chopped mushrooms. I made this dough with a little extra flour in order to make it easier to roll out thin.

*That's what she said.

Grandma Bettinelli's Pizza

2009-10-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

My friend Rana's grandmother makes her pizza with just olive oil, garlic, salt, and pepper. It sounded so minimally delicious, I was dying to try it. I made the same dough as last night (half all-purpose flour, half white whole wheat), drizzled with good olive oil, covered with thinly sliced cloves of garlic, and baked on a cast iron crêpe pan at 500° for 10 minutes. It turned out very flaky and not too garlicky. The perfect side for a huge salad.

Pizza Week!

2009-10-25T21:17:00.001-07:00

My best friend is the best because he called me to tell me that Trader Joe's doesn't put L-cysteine in their pizza dough anymore. I was so relieved, because making my own dough can sometimes be really time consuming. Especially when I want pizza RIGHT NOW. Anyway, the news inspired me to do a week of pizzas.

I haven't made it out to TJ's yet, so I did make a half recipe of dough this morning. This is my version of the Greek pizza. Instead of some unimpressive version of tofu feta, I made a lemony white wine walnut sauce. It smells heavenly, and it tastes absolutely deeelish.

Greek Pizza with Lemony Walnut Sauce

pizza dough (I used the "small" recipe from a Donna German book. Bread machine; dough cycle)
3 slices red onion
handful kalamata olives
1/2 can artichoke hearts, quartered
2/3 cup red pizza sauce

Top your rolled out dough with sauce and veggies. Drizzle with lemony walnut sauce. Bake at 450° to 500° for 10-15 minutes.

Lemony Walnut Sauce:
1 tbsp Earth Balance
1 tbsp olive oil
Juice of 3 small or two large juicy lemons
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
handful walnuts, ground
2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 cup white wine
1 tsp cornstarch

Melt EB and olive oil. Add lemon juice and whisk over medium heat. Add the garlic, walnuts, and oregano. Keep whisking until hot. Whisk in the cornstarch and wine, remove from heat and stir until thickened slightly. This stuff is also good on French bread.

Minnesota State Muffin?

2009-10-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

No idea we had one, or that any state did, but here ya go. Blueberry. This recipe turned out very blue due to using frozen/thawed instead of fresh berries. I also used about 3 tablespoons of ground candied ginger. I'm not even going to offer one to my boss because he thought the lavender cupcakes "reminded him of old ladies." Lord knows what ginger blueberry muffins might do.

This is another one that I plan to play with and improve on. It didn't seem sweet enough, and it could stand to lose about five minutes off the baking time. They are still good, and certainly hit the spot on a Saturday morning with a cup of joe before going in to work. Ugh. I need a real job.

The Jucy Lucy

2009-10-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

The whole story of the most famous burger in town can be found here. I knew that the bar that invented it is disputed, but I was always told it was Matt's Bar, right by my old high school. I didn't try the damn thing until I had out of town guests (this was pre-veg, of course), and all I remember is that the entire first layer of my tongue and the roof of my mouth were burned off by the molten cheese inside the burger.

Well, since vegan cheese typically doesn't melt at all, I felt safe. I even dusted off the ol' George Foreman for this. It's easy. Gimme Lean hamburger made into two patties. One slab of Teese cheddar in the middle. Pinch it all around to seal in the cheeze, and throw it on the grill. Really fast and easy.

And, I was right. No molten cheeze. Just hot and yummy. And all the fixins.

Iron Chef: Apples and Peanut Butter

2009-10-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

This was almost too easy. Ingredients that already go great together, and it's Minnesota Week, and there's no better time than right now to buy a peck of Honeycrisp apples. The Honeycrisp, developed at the University of Minnesota, is the sweetest, crispest, and most mouthgasmic apple there is. It makes that Red Delicious mushball look like a cat turd. The ones I picked up tthe other day are by far the best I've tasted. It was like the sweetest champagne. If somebody ever makes cider from this stuff, sign me up.

Honeycrisp Apple Crisp

3 large Honeycrisp apples; cored and diced
juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup whole wheat flour
1/3 cup old fashioned oats
1/3 cup natural chunky peanut butter
1 tbsp Earth Balance

Heat the oven to 375°.

Toss diced apples with lemon juice, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Set aside. In another bowl, combine the sugars, flour, and oats. Cut in the peanut butter. Oh, eff it, just get your hands in there and work it until you have some peanut buttery crumbiness. Grease a medium sized baking dish with the Earth Balance. Dump in the apple mixture. Cover with the peanut butter mixture, and spread it around evenly. Throw it in the oven for about 45 minutes, or until the apples are tender, and the top is golden brown. Cool to room temp, and serve with vanilla ice cream.

Vegan Nut Goodies

2009-10-21T16:31:00.000-07:00

There's a little old lady with one tooth that comes in our store about once a week and buys ten or eleven Nut Goodies. One week, we didn't have any. She was very upset. Then it started... you could almost hear the ominous music playing as the public advanced on our little drugstore like zombies. "Where are the Nut Goodies?" "Why don't you have any Salted Nut Rolls?" "I can't get through the day without one!"

It wasn't until I was told that our store was the hub for Pearson's candy in our district. I knew that Pearson's was widely available in the Twin Cities, since it is a local company, but we keep the damn things in big red barrels by the registers, and if we run out? Every store in the district does, too.

I didn't really miss the Pearson's candies. I have fond memories of their peppermint patties getting all mashed up in the bottom of my trick-or-treat bags, and I am a big fan of caramel, peanuts, and chocolate, but I was lobbying for gelatin-free Starbursts and vegan Snickers that didn't cost $2.50 a pop. But I figured, since it's Minnesota week, why not try my hand at one of the classics. The Nut Goodie. Maple cream center surrounded by peanuts, and covered in chocolate.

The inside of a genuine Pearson's Nut Goodie.

The maple cream is loosely based on the nougat recipe in Please Don't Feed the Bears, but I didn't really measure anything, and used maple extract along with vanilla. It came out kind of grainy, so I beat the stuff until my arm was in serious pain. It turned out more like a maple-y, fluffy caramel. I just mixed the peanuts in, and used a small cookie dough scoop to make plops on waxed paper.

I stuck them in the freezer for a couple of hours. Watched the last hour of From Hell (which I fell asleep in front of last night), and started melting the chocolate.

I used tongs to dip the frozen Goodies in the chocolate. Set them out on waxed paper again, and cooled. In hindsight, I should have used some sort of candy coating, because they didn't turn out glossy, like Pearson's. They are also super melty when you eat them, but who's complaining? Now I need someone to come over and take these away from me. Yum.

Love in a casserole dish

2009-10-20T19:01:00.001-07:00

I think when it comes to comfort foods, Minnesotans win the prize. Of course, when your winters come in September and last until April, you need a lot of comforting.

I was trying to locate the most authentic Minnesota Hotdish recipe. Any Minnesotan will tell you how it's made, but it's always different. Everyone's mom made it the right way. My mom, for example, was the queen of tuna noodle hotdish. Not one to lose her cool New Yorker status, she added a tablespoon of curry powder, which I adopted into my own version of said dish. But what the Authentic Hotdishes always include are ground beef, several cans of cream of something soup (mushroom, chicken, celery), frozen peas or corn, and Tater Tots up top. No noodles?

I had to call in my dad on this one. Born in Valley City, North Dakota and having lived in Minneapolis a good chunk of his life, he knows a thing or two about hotdish. He agreed with me; hotdish has noodles. I knew it! I always have had noodles in my hotdish, and usually there's crushed Rip'l Chips on top instead of Tots. He got a second opinion from his wife, who was born and raised in Mitchell, South Dakota. She said hotdish was ground beef, noodles, and soup. "What about Tater Tots?" "Oh, yeah yeah yeah...Tater Tots!" So there you have it. The internet is only half right. Hotdish has noodles and Tots. Chips go on tuna hotdish. Now, then.

Finding everything I'd need was easy. Instead of making my own cream of mushroom soup, I got some creamy portobello soup from Imagine Foods, Morningstar Farms burger crumbles, frozen corn and peas, and instead of Ore-Ida Tots, I got the Whole Foods bougie version called Tater Puffs.

I added some salt, pepper, garlic, and thyme because this stuff is usually bland as hell. This is how we do it in the Cities, yo.

Mmm. Carby.

Perfect for a cold, misty night. I need to arrange some sort of Vegan Church Potluck. Without the church part.

Minnesota Week. You betcha.

2009-10-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

For lack of a better phrase, this week was kicked off by a nail-biter of a win by the Vikings. I didn't make anything remotely Minnesotan yesterday, but the spirit was there. Hey, and the cupcakes were purple! Now, I'm flying high on a wave of purple and gold glory until the Vikes get their asses handed to them by the Steelers next Sunday. I'm sending good vibes to Antoine Winfield: get better! Rest! Ice! Compression! Elevation!

And speaking of rice, who doesn't like a big bowl of down home Minnesotan creamy wild rice soup? With the Minnesota state mushroom?

Wild Rice Soup with Morels
Makes a ton

2 tsp olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
2 carrots, peeled and diced
5 stalks celery, chopped
1 zucchini, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 quarts not-chicken broth
1 cup fresh morel mushrooms, chopped
(I used dried and rehydrated a half cup)
1 tbsp dried thyme
1 tbsp dried parsley
salt and pepper
1 lb chicken-style seitan, cut into bite sized pieces
1 1/2 cups cooked wild rice or wild rice blend
1 cup white wine
2 cups soy creamer

Cook the wild rice and set it aside. I used a blend because I wanted a variety of flavor, so use that.

Heat the oil in a stockpot. Sauté the onion, carrots, celery, and zucchini until the onion is translucent. Add the broth, rice, herbs, and salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer until carrots are no longer crunchy; about ten minutes. Add the seitan and wine. Cook five minutes more. Remove from heat. Stir in creamer. Test for salt. Serve!

Football snacks

2009-10-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

I have to work every Sunday. Thank heavens I have a friend that will send me Facebook updates on the game, otherwise I would be super depressed.

Today, I don't have to be in until 2:00pm, so I made a quick lunch of bar food. I didn't cook anything. The wings are from Health is Wealth, and the potstickers are from Trader Joe's.

The reason beer is consumed during games? Because otherwise your tongue would burn off.

Skol!

National Chocolate Cupcake Day

2009-10-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

Even though I had an eggplant waiting in the wings, I decided that today had to be recognized. I would have made these this morning and brought them in for my coworkers, and a late Boss's Day gift (ha), but I can't peel myself off the sheets before 11:00am. It was a dead sprint to midnight to get these puppies done.

So, besides the obvious cheating by using food coloring for the frosting, where is the violet? Well, mixed right into the batter is a handful of culinary lavender that I picked up a few months ago. I'm a little worried that my cupcakes are going to make my coworkers sleepy. Or suddenly want a bubble bath and a glass of wine.

In case you're wondering, that's a Skittle on top.

Indigo

2009-10-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

I got the weirdest list of foods when I tried to research for this recipe. Artichokes? Rosemary?

I finally settled on Indigo as somewhere between blue and purple, which gave me a little leeway in the color spectrum. I felt that cooked cremini mushrooms, red kale, and black mission figs fit the bill. Also, it was all I saw at the Wedge in the three minutes I had to pick something out before I was late to work.

What do you think?

All day long I wondered. Soup? Stew? Dessert (ew)? Then I remembered the box of arborio rice I picked up at Trader Joe's on a whim. I just had to replace the bottle of white wine I thought I still had, but apparently was consumed Tuesday night. Yep.

Black Mission Fig Risotto with Lemony Red Kale
Makes about 6 servings

1 1/2 cups arborio rice
1/2 cup white wine
4 cups heated broth
2 tbsp Earth Balance
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups sliced cremini mushrooms
about 10 black mission figs (fresh), stems removed, and quartered
1 tbsp dried parsley
salt and pepper
1 bunch red kale
1 lemon's worth of juice
2 tsp olive oil

In a large saucepan, heat the Earth Balance. Sauté the onion until translucent. Add garlic and mushrooms. Stir to coat, and cook for a minute or two, until the mushrooms soften. Add rice. Stir to coat. Add wine, and cook, stirring, until the wine evaporates. Add two cups of broth. For the next 15 minutes, add a cup of broth and stir until reduced and absorbed. Once all the broth is poured in, add the figs and parsley and cook until the risotto is done. Salt and pepper to taste.

In a large frying pan, heat the olive oil. On lowish heat, sauté the kale for about a minute. Flip the leaves around with a pair of tongs. Drizzle with lemon juice, and cook until wilty.

Serve risotto over kale. Yum!

There is no blue food

2009-10-15T15:42:00.000-07:00

I was glad to find a blue dish in this house, since the "blue" food I made is actually not blue at all.

I finally whipped out the Pancake Puff maker (also known as an aebleskiver), and experimented a little. I only had two large blue potatoes, so I decided to do a trial run with some sweet potato. Turned out good, and figured out the perfect flame to cook them without making a big black puff. So then I make a blue potato pancake batter. Still blue. I drop the batter into the pan, and...green?

See how it's blue, but once it starts to cook, it turns a teal color? God dammit.

Then I pour on the wild blueberry sauce, which has turned a rich merlot color. Sigh.

So, it's true. Blue food does not exist.

Green day, green girl.

2009-10-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

Those of you that know me and Paula know that when we get together, and there's alcohol involved, it can get ugly. There was broken glass out in the damn hallway of my building. As Pizzy put it, "We did good."

Well, I certainly did not feel good this morning. My 38-year old body is not bouncing back like it did fifteen years ago. Also, I'm an idiot for drinking not just red wine, but vanilla vodka-ginger ales, white wine, and a couple of Bell's Two Hearted Ales. Kill me. Then my boss called and wanted me to come in. Not happening. It was all I could do to get up and pee today, let alone do anything else. But like a good little vegan mofo'er, I soldiered on.

Linguine with Pistachio Pesto, Italian Sausage, and Grapes.
(thanks to Isa for the edamame idea)
Makes 6-8 servings

1 lb linguine
1 cup shelled pistachio nuts
1/2 cup shelled edamame
2 cloves garlic
handful fresh basil leaves (about a cup, packed)
1/2 cup water
extra virgin olive oil
salt and pepper
2 Italian sausages (I used Tofurkey), diced
2 cups green grapes, halved

Boil the pasta and set aside.
Throw the nuts, edamame, garlic, and basil in a food processor and turn it on high. Pour in the water while it's going, and drizzle in olive oil until it reaches a desired consistency (I used about 1/3 cup. It ain't diet food). Salt and pepper to taste.

Heat a teaspoon of oil in a small pan. Add the sausage, and cook for about two minutes. Add the grapes. Cook about three more minutes until heated through and the sausage bits start to brown a little.

Add pesto sauce to the pasta and toss. Add the sausage and grapes. Check for salt. Serve.

The Curry Matches the Drapes

2009-10-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

This is my friend, Paula. I made this dish for her.

This is what I'd call a Massaman Island Curry. Tofu, yellow peppers, coconut curry, pineapple, and bananas. But since it's been dedicated, it's called The Curry Matches the Drapes.

Paula is moving back home to Rapid City at the end of this month, leaving me drinking buddy-less. I told her to come by tonight and I'd cook for her. How appropriate to have my lovely flaxen-haired friend over on yellow night. Now she can say she has a recipe named after her when I'm rich and famous. Yeah.

Love you, Paula. xoxo

Now, back to the serious drinking...